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Based on a painting by Joseph Gandy (1771-1843)
In this early first-person science fiction novel the narrator, while exploring Mount Vesuvius, falls into a cavity that leads to the hollow interior of the Earth. Here he finds an advanced patriarchal civilisation ruled by an elected monarch.
During his sojourn in the world at the centre of the Earth the narrator sees and experiences many wonders and, from a repeatedly-reincarnated spirit, learns many details about life on other planets.
By what Means I arrive at the Central World. I am almost Squeez'd to Death by the prodigious attractive Quality of that Globe.
IT is not my Intention, as is common amongst Writers of
Travels, to entertain my Readers with an Account of my Birth,
Parentage and Education, I have too often myself, in reading the
Works of others, been surfeited with such Impertinencies. For
what is it to the Reader, whether the Author was born in the
North or South of England, whether his Father was a fat
Man or a lean one, a Cobler or a Person of an independent
fortune? Or whether the Author himself was born on a
Sunday or a Monday? when at the same Time, it does
not much signify whether he had ever been born at all. However,
it will be necessary to say thus much of myself; that I was born
a younger Brother, and met with the same Fate that those Gentry
generally do, viz. to starve for Want; whilst he that had
the good Luck to come into the World first, is riding in his
Coach and fix.
'Tis true, I had a small Fortune, about the Quarter of one Year's Income of the Estate, but it did not last long; and when that was gone, by being burthensome to any Relations they soon grew tired of me, and ill-natured Things being told them, such as, that if I had not been extravagant, I might have liv'd comfortably upon the Interest of my Fortune; that if a Person cannot live within his Circumstances he ought to starve, and many others of the same sort: I say by these means I was at last entirely deserted by them, and Misery soon follow'd. But what gave me the greatest Uneasiness was, to find that those Persons who had helped to run out my Fortune, were the very People that did me the worst Offices. One in particular, whom, I had entirely supported whilst my Money lasted, being now come into Affluence by the Death of an old Aunt, was at the Head of those that rail'd the most against me; and I verily believe that he was the chief Instrument of my Disgrace: but I shall have Occasion to mention him, at the End of this History.
Being now without a Friend in the World to assist me, I began to think of some Method to get my Bread, but found it a difficult Task, having never been bread to any Business, I therefore fix'd upon the Sea as the easiest Way to get a Livelihood: and being able to write a tolerable Hand, and understanding something of Accounts, I prevail'd with a Captain of a Man of War of my Acquaintance, who was shortly to go upon the Mediterranean Station, to take me with him as his Clerk.
My Mind was now quite at ease; and amongst the few of my Acquaintance that remained, (after my being reduced in my Circumstances) I was furnished with a little Money to supply me with proper Necessaries for the Voyage. One Morning I met the Captain at Will's Coffee-House in Scotland-Yard, when he told me, it would be proper I should set out for Portsmouth (his Ship then lying at Spithead) as soon as possible, having received Orders to sail immediately. He was so kind to order me not to lay in any Provisions for my own Use, as he intended his Table should be mine during the Voyage. He was likewise pleased to say that I might have Occasion for a little Money, and most generously put ten Guineas into my Hand. I made as proper Acknowledgements to him for his Kindness as I was able, and he left me to go over to the Admiralty to receive his last Instructions.
I employ'd the Remainder of the Day in buying such Necessaries as I thought I might have Occasion for, and the next Morning I set out for Portsmouth, where I arriv'd about five in the Afternoon. I had scarcely got a little Refreshment after my Journey, before I saw the Captain (in his Post Chaise) enter the Yard of the Inn I had put up at; I immediately waited upon him, and he express'd his Approbation of my so punctually obeying his Orders.
As the Wind was then Fair, he took me in his own Barge on board, where being soon furnish'd with a Cabbin upon, the Quarter Deck, I began to get my Things into it, which before I had compleated, I found the Ship was under Sail. As nothing material happen'd in our Passage, unless the great Civilities I received from the Captain, I shall not trouble my Reader with any Particulars, only that after a short and pleasant Voyage, we arriv'd safely at Naples, to which Place we were order'd to sail directly.
I shall not here pretend to describe the Beauties of this delightful City, and the Country around it, there having been already said, by others, so much concerning them. We now saw the famous Mountain of Vesuvius, and I must confess, I had a great Inclination to visit the Top of it. I mention'd my Curiosity to the Captain, and he told me he would make a Party to go there so soon as he had finish'd the Business he came about, which would be in two or three Days. I employed my Time till then, in viewing the Richness and Magnificence of their Churches and Palaces, and all the other Curiosities, that the Shortness of the Time would allow me. At last the Day came for our visiting this wonderful Vulcano. The Captain had provided proper Guides, who conduced us to the Top, at least as far as any ever ventured to go. But as the Entrance or Mouth of the Mountain seem'd quite calm, and little or no Smoke issued out of it, I had a great Desire to venture farther, and if possible to look into the Opening; but the Guides advised me against it, as it might be attended with bad Consequences: however, my Curiosity was so great, that notwithstanding the Captain himself endeavour'd to persuade me from so rash an Attempt, I was determin'd to proceed in my Design. I therefore boldly went forward, but when I came within a few Yards of the Entrance, a dreadful Gust of Smoke issued from it, and the Ground I stood upon sunk under me.
I was instantly surrounded with Fire and Sulphur that almost suffocated me. As I continued falling, I at last came to a Part of the Cavern that was as cold as Ice, and I was almost perished with the excessive Damp that encompassed me; at last I heard such terrible Roaring and Bellowings, occasioned by the pent-up Air, and every now and then saw such Gushes of Flame and Smoke issue from every Part around me, that I expected nothing but instant Death.
The Precipitancy of the Motion with which I continued falling was so great, that I had hardly Power to offer up my Prayers to my Creator, and to accuse myself with the Rashness of the Action I had been guilty of, especially as it was contrary to the Advice of one, to whom I lay under the greatest Obligations. For I must own, that if the Captain had been my own Brother, he could not have behaved in a more affectionate Manner to me than he did, both before and during our whole Voyage.
It is impossible to describe the Variety of Appearances that struck my Eye during my Descent, sometimes I was surrounded with nothing but Fire and Smoke, and the next Minute with a Brilliancy that surpassed any Thing I had ever seen, which I imagine proceeded from the great Quantities of Jewels, with which the Sides of this Cavern were stored.
If it was possible (in the Situation I was in) to form a Conjecture how fast I fell, I believe it was about a Mile every Minute. After I had been about an Hour and a half in this Situation, to my great Surprize I discovered Light above me or below as you please, for my Head was downwards, At that Sight I verily thought I had fell through the whole Diameter of the Globe, and was arrived at the Antipodes; but it proved otherwise, as will appear in the Sequel.
At last I got to the End of this vast Pit or rather Hole, when I found myself in the open Air, but surrounded with a Lustre, that exceeded any Thing I had ever seen.
The resplendent Glory was so great, and affected my Eyes so much, that I thought I should have lost the Use of them. However, I perceiv'd that the longer I continued falling, the less was this prodigious Brightness, till at last, and by Degrees, it became an agreeable Light, such as we have on Earth, in the Middle Of a fine Summer's Day.
I then perceived a Body at a vast Distance, resembling our Moon at full, but much larger; and I thought I could discover Spots in it, which nearly resembled what we see in the Moon.
At this Sight I was greatly terrified, for as I still continued falling with an incredible Quickness, I began to imagine myself dead, and that the immortal or spiritual Part of me, was going to that Place to which it was destin'd, by its good or bad Actions in this World. I still continued falling, and the Body I at first discovered, encreased greatly, as I nearer approached it. At last I could discover nothing, but this Globe below me. I then plainly discerned Seas, vast Continents, Mountains and Islands. As at this Time, the Rapidity with which I fell was prodigious, I soon perceived that it was neither more nor less than a World like ours, for then I saw Houses, Towns, Trees and Fields. And now I every Moment expected to have my Brains dashed out. But Providence (which never deserts the Distressed) so ordered it, that I fell directly upon a Load of Hay, which was heaped up together in a Field.*
(* This Fall will not appear so extraordinary, if the Reader pleases to peruse a Book wrote by Gulielmus Nubrigensis, above five hundred Years ago, wherein he says that two green Children fell from Heaven in his Time. Vid. Rerum Ang. Lib. I. Cap. 27. de viridibus Pueris.)
There I lay Frighten'd almost out of my Senses, and so fatigued with my Fall, which was no less than three thousand and upwards of our Miles (as I shall be able to make appear) that I did not know what to do. However, as where I lay did not seem to be upwards of six Yards from the Ground, so soon as I could recover my Breath, I determined to slide down. I therefore placed myself on the Edge, and instantly descended with that infinite Swiftness that I thought I should have broke every Bone in my Skin, and when I got to the Bottom, I stuck so fast to the Ground, that I had not Power to stir a Joint, and seemed to stick as close, as a small Key would to one of our largest Magnets or Loadstones. In this Situation I must soon have perished, by having my Breath squeez'd out of my Body, had I not been miraculously preserved, as you will see in the next Chapter.
Am relieved by a venerable old Person. He conducts me to his House, carries me into his Study, where I acquire in a most wonderful Manner their Language.
I HAD not been long in this Situation before a venerable old
Person came up to me. He look'd for some Time, lifted up his
Eyes, join'd his Hands together, and as I imagined said a short
Prayer. He then from under his Robe took a small Box of Ointment,
with which he anointed my Joints, as likewise my Back, he then
did the same to my Feet, which was no sooner done than I jumpt up
and seem'd as light as a Feather. I instantly fell upon my Knees,
and attempted to kiss his Hand, but he snatch'd it from me, and
with a most angry Countenance rais'd me from the Ground, and
looking with infinite Disdain and Scorn mix'd with Compassion,
made Signs for me to follow him.
I immediately, did with the utmost Submission, not knowing what the Consequence of Disobedience might be, as I discover'd by his Looks that he so highly resented what is look'd upon in our World as the greatest Compliment that can be paid even to Crown'd Heads.
We walk'd over several delightful Fields, and what surpriz'd me greatly was to see the very Ground we trod upon, cover'd with Gold-Dust instead of Sand, and precious Stones instead of Pebbles. At last we arriv'd at the House, the Walls of which were chiefly compos'd of Gems of various Sorts and a prodigious Size, which made it shine with a Splendor not to be conceiv'd. For here Gold and Jewels are so plentiful, that they are only us'd in Buildings, Etc. being of no other Use, as Money is unknown amongst the Inhabitants, every Thing being in common; but more of this hereafter. As soon as we enter'd, an agreeable elderly Woman met my Conductor; he said something to her which I did not understand, and pointed to me. She immediately, lifted up her Eyes, join'd her Hands, and repeated what by her Manner and Gesture, I took to be a Prayer of Thanksgiving.
I was then introduc'd into a very neat and elegant. Parlour, where the good Woman gave me a Glass of Cordial that far excell'd any Thing I had ever tasted. And here let me mention a Circumstance that will gain less Belief than any other Particular in this my History. For, as I shall avoid the Custom common amongst Historians, of recommending themselves and their Works, by the Wonderful, and relating Things for Facts, which must appear ridiculous to any but the illiterate Crowd, who gape and swallow down whatever appears most improbable, I shall stick closely to Truth; otherwise, as no one can contradict me, I might say that these People's Heads were placed in their Stomachs; that they have but one Eye, one Leg, and that the Females dance as well with the latter as the AURETTI, and the former see as far into a Mill-stone as our modern Politicians.
But leaving these Wonderfuls to the Garreteer Writers, I shall state Facts just as they are, and for the Truth of which the Reader needs only take my Word.
But to return to the Circumstance I mentioned at the Beginning of this Digression: My Landlord (if I may be allowed to make Use of that Name) after I had been about an Hour in his House, made Signs to me to follow him, which I did with great Submission, and the more so, as I was afraid I had incurred his Displeasure, as is before related.
He conducted me into an Apartment that I took to be his Study. As soon as we were enter'd, he placed me in an Elbow Chair, join'd his Hands together, lifted up his Eyes, and repeated some Words that I did not then understand. He then took down a Phial, pour'd some of the Liquid into a small Cup, and made a Sign for me to put out my Tongue, which I did. He then anointed the Tip of it, which was no sooner done than I began to prattle in a Language that was entirely unknown to me; with which he seem'd pleas'd, and again joyn'd his Hands, lifted up his Eyes, and repeated some Words which sounded like those I then could utter, without knowing the Meaning of them. He then anointed my Ears, and lastly my Forehead, my Temples, and the Top of my Head. I then found that I instantly understood his Language; for upon his then joining his Hands, lifting up his Eyes, and repeating these Words,
Meni Egen! ton testeron egi alip astagenos, aperon didenemos esteron, ag operon estemedoros.
I immediately knew the English to be,
Great God! blessed be thy Name, a Stranger is arriv'd, and thro' thy Mercies has receiv'd Knowledge.
I then fell prostrate before him, and embraced his Feet. He flew from me with the utmost Indignation and Rage, and repeated these Words,
Erlios Onamos, acceberos Erliaton phisteron te andabos nan Egen asteros epanidos.
Which is in English,
Earthly Mortal, quit the Vanities of the Earth, and know that none but God is to be worshipped.
I beg my Reader's Pardon for inferring, any Part of a Language that is unknown to him; but I thought, on this Occasion, it might be necessary: however, I promise him for the future, that I will make use of no other Language than plain English. As I have now arriv'd at the Knowledge of their Tongue, I shall be able to let my Countrymen know my Meaning, without first repeating the Words used in the Country I was then in, and after that translating them, as is practised by many of our Historians, not even the famous Gulliver himself excepted; and I believe with no other View than to fill up a Page.
But to return. My kind Host reconducted me into the Parlour from whence we came, where I found his Wife, his eldest Son, a Youth about Seventy, of whom I shall often have Occasion to speak, and a Daughter about Fifty, who had been a few Days married, with several other Sons and Daughters of different Ages.
I was congratulated by them all on my acquiring their Language; and after a very good Supper, a most hearty Welcome, which made every Thing the sweeter, I was conduced to Bed, the Shape of which, and the Manner of eating in this Country, the Reader may know, if he pleases to read the next Chapter.
The Manner of eating and sleeping in this Country described, as likewise their Dress, in which is introduc'd Remarks that may not hit the Taste of every Reader.
IT will be necessary to let my Readers know where I am all
this while; in short in that World that is plac'd directly in the
Centre of our Earth. The Space that I had fallen thro' was as
deep as the Crust of our World is thick, which is a little more
than a hundred Miles. When I got thro' that, I arriv'd in the
Regions peculiar to this Central World, which by its attractive
Quality continued drawing me towards it, 'till such Time as I
arrived upon its Surface, as before related. As this is
sufficient at present to premise, I shall proceed to my Promise
in the foregoing Chapter, viz. to give an Account of the
Manner of eating and drinking at the Centre.
As to their Meals they have (as we) three, the first about eight in the Morning, the other about one, and the last at six at Night, after which they retire to Rest; neither does any of these Meals exceed above ten Minutes, for they have no Notion of bestowing more Time than is absolutely necessary to satisfy the Calls of Nature, which they say is soon satisfied. Their Food consists entirely on the Productions of the Earth, as Roots of various Sorts, with Plenty of the most delicious Fruits, which are in Season all the Year round. They never kill any living Creature for Food, nor is any Vice held in more Detestation amongst them than Luxury of any Sort. So much for the present concerning their Eating.
As to their Manner of Sleeping, they never lye on any thing better than a Sort of Mattrass, but much harder than our hardest, neither do they use any Thing to cover them, but a Rugg or Quilt. This Manner of lying makes them very hardy, and their Temperance in Eating and Drinking renders them so healthy, that a Man is only reckon'd middle-aged at an Hundred and Fifty, many living to three Hundred and upwards.
This is all that is necessary to say on these Subjects: I shall now proceed to more material ones. But before I go any farther, I will just mention their Dress. They wear a sort of Petticoat from their Waist downwards to their Ancles, their Shoes are made of Leather, but so large and easy, that I dare say they never have Corns. They wear their own Hair to a great Length, and likewise their Beards, it being reckon'd amongst them the greatest Piece of Impiety to destroy or make away with what God Has been pleas'd to give them; for as I have, in the Time I stay'd with them, often had Occasion to mention some particular Customs in our World, I never could find that they ever look'd upon any with so much Contempt and Disdain, as the altering and endeavouring to amend the Manner in which it has pleas'd our Creator to form us.
For, say they, can God act inconsistently? Can infinite Goodness and Perfection create us with Hair on Purpose that we should cut it off? and attempt to mend by Art, what is finished by an all wise and omnipotent Hand.
The female Sex have no Beards, and why? For Reasons best known to their Creator, who is Perfection in all his Works. By the same Propriety of Reason that we cut off our Beards and (contrary to the Intent of him who form'd us) appear smock-faced and effeminate. The fair Sex should add long Beards to their Chins, and by that Means alter the Intent of him, who is all Wisdom and best knows our Wants, and what is, and what is not, proper for us.
I must own that these Reasons were strong, that I had seldom any Reply to make, but as I shall frequently have Occasion to mention various of their Customs, I must defer further Particulars, till a proper Season, and finish what this Digression put a Stop to, I mean their Dress.
They wear (as was before observed) their Hair and Beards of a great Length. Upon their Heads they have a Sort of Turbant adorned with Feathers of various Colours. They wear a Jacket that reaches three or four Inches below their Waists, not straight as we wear them in England, but the Sleeves and Body slit and furbellow'd as we see in old Spanish Pictures, and over the Whole they have a Robe, not confin'd to any particular Colour, but according to the Inclination of the Wearer.
By this Means they are easy, the Blood has a free Circulation, and various Disorders are prevented, which are too often amongst us occasioned by bracing ourselves up, and as far as us lies, preventing the Intent of our exquisite Formation.
The Women wear almost the same Dress as the Men, only they have no Turbants, and their Hair, which is very long, hangs carelessly down their Shoulders.
As soon as I was up the next Morning I waited on my kind Host, who I found with his Wife, Son, and the rest of his Family. After a very good Breakfast, which was greatly heightened by the agreeable Manner in which it was conducted, and the Chearfulness that appear'd on the Faces of his whole Family, he address'd me in the following Manner.
My Son, as by the divine Permission you have acquir'd our Language, it is highly necessary that you should be acquainted with those wonderful Particulars that relate to our World. And be assured I will give you the best Account in my Power; and far from thinking it a Trouble, I shall look upon it as an infinite Pleasure. But as it will be more convenient to retire into my Study, I flatter myself, that the Time between this and Dinner, you will not think disagreeably employed. So saying he rose and proceeded to his Library, and with a pleasing Curiosity I followed him. What I there learned, the Reader may know if he has Patience to read the next Chapter.
A great deal of serious Discourse which to many may appear Nonsense. Their World geographically and Astronomically describ'd. They never kill any living Creature for Food.
AS soon as my kind Conductor had placed himself in his Chair,
and I was seated by him, he began as follows.
Know, O Son of Earth! that thou art not the first by many, that Chance has thrown upon our Globe, neither is it impossible for us to visit your World; that great God whom we truly adore has blessed us with those Gifts that you are Strangers to. We can, when we please, transport ourselves to your Regions, and what surpasses even that, we have the Gift of knowing the Thoughts of those we converse with. By this Means we are much better acquainted with your earthly Brethren than you are yourselves, who can judge only by Appearances. Often do you clasp that Man to your Bosom as a Friend, who at the same Time is your greatest Enemy, and only professes Friendship, whilst you have wherewithal to make him welcome; but when that fails, he will not only desert you, but leave you to starve in a Dungeon, and pretend he never heard your Name. These Things and worse are common in your World; I have often made an Excursion thither myself, and having the Gifts, I before mention'd, have seen Things greatly unworthy of those Beings, that are, as we, made after the Image of our Creator. Perhaps at a proper Time I may tell you some Particulars, but for the Present we will confine ourselves to what relates to the World we are now upon, and which is the Centre of your Globe. I thank'd him, and he thus proceeded.
My Son, for I will no longer call thee Son of Earth, which is (and very deservedly) amongst us an infamous Title; but for the Future I will only call thee Son, and I am sufficiently assur'd thou wilt deserve that Name: therefore attend.
The World on which we live is the very Centre of that Globe you call the Earth, and as I shall as far as possible confine my Description to your Ideas, I will call it a vast Magnet or Loadstone; which by its attractive Quality draws every Thing in your World towards it, and the nearer you approach its Surface the greater on Course must be the Power of its Attraction. You may remember that when I first saw you, you seemed and felt as if you was fix'd to the Ground, I reliev'd you by an Ointment which we Central Inhabitants always carry about us, for the Assistance of Strangers like yourself; this proceeded from the vast Power of Attraction that is given to our World, for if it has the Power to attract Bodies, at the Distance of three thousand Miles and upwards, how much more must the Force be, when you are upon its Surface? This you have experienc'd, and I have assisted you; therefore, in case an Incident of this Sort, should ever happen to you whilst you are amongst us, and that you should find one of your own Brethren in the same Situation I bid you, take this Bottle and assist those that may be in the like Distress. I accepted the Phial with many Thanks, and he thus proceeded.
I am very sensible that you Earthly Inhabitants think that God has created nothing but your World to be inhabited, and that you are the great Lords thereof; that the Sun, the Moon, Stars and Planets, were made only to enlighten the Grain of Sand that you inhabit. But know, vain Mortals, that there is no End of Creation, and that every Pebble, every Leaf, nay the most minute Thing that can be conceiv'd, is a World to Millions. In a Drop of Water no larger than a Pin's Point, with ordinary Glasses, you may discover Numbers of living Creatures of various Sizes and different Structures. If we see these, small Parts of the Creation so plentifully flock'd with Inhabitants, how can we imagine that the vast Bodies that fill the Regions of unlimited Space were only form'd for us to gaze upon, and not full of Beings to glorify the great Author of their Existence! Every Part of Creation is absolutely necessary to keep together the Whole; and like the Wheels in a Clock, if the minutest is remov'd, it puts a Stop to the whole Movement. For this Reason a Fly is of as much Use in that Part of Creation which it is ordain'd to fill, as a Monarch is in that which he is. Our Central Globe is absolutely requisite for the very Being of your World. If there was no attractive Power, to keep all Things in Order, how could any Thing exist? Your Towns, your Houses, your very selves, instead of adhering to the Surface, would float in the Air, and have no Resting Place. The Accident that brought you here, has made you, in one particular, wiser than your greatest Men; for they, with all their puzzling, could never find out what the Centre was compos'd of with the Particulars of which you are now made acquainted.
I told him, that it was true, Several weak Minds in our World did think every Thing was created for their Use only, but that many others were of a much better Way of Thinking, and well satisfy'd that the Planets were inhabited, and that the fixed Stars were Suns with Worlds revolving round them; that Creation was without End, and all Space stored with Beings to sing their great Creator's Praise. That as to what was at the Centre of our World, it had been Matter of great Dispute amongst the Learned, until a certain Jesuit*, with a Modesty peculiar to those Gentry, positively pronounced it to be the Receptacle of the Damned. But this Opinion was soon after confuted; for it was prov'd, that the whole Cavity of the Earth was not large enough to contain the Bodies of all those (after they rise from the Dead) that have had Damnation pronounced against them, by different Popes since the Beginning of Christianity. For as they every Year, are so charitable, to damn as Hereticks, all those that are not within the Pale of their Church, there must have been nineteen Parts in twenty of Mankind that have liv'd within the Space of fourteen hundred Years doom'd to eternal Torment; and so large a Number could not be contain'd in the Space allotted them by the Jesuit. Indeed had this Discovery been made by a Member of the Church of England it would have been more plausible, as they have Charity enough to allow all Mankind to be in a State of Salvation, consequently the Number of the Damned would have been much less. He smiled at this Account, and said they were greatly obliged to the Jesuit for his kind Opinion of their World; but, says he, I imagine he was as great a Stranger to that, as he was to the Christian Religion, in the Purity it was taught by Christ and his Disciples. But, continued he, as the Priests of that Communion damn all that think different from what they preach, it was necessary to find a Place, to put them in.
(* Anthony Rusca, one of the Society of a College in Milan, formerly wrote a large Volume, de Inferno. Wherein he positively asserts that the Seat of Punishment (or Hell) is at the Centre, Vid. Cap. v. Lib. 2.)
But to return, don't think, says he, that when I appear severe upon the Inhabitants of your World, that I mean the Whole; it is only against the Deprav'd and Narrow-minded of them; for I am well convinced, that there are several amongst you, who have quite a different Notion of Things, and to them I pay a due Respect.
As I perceive you are an Englishman, I shall, as near as possible, adapt my Discourse according to your Manners and Customs, and particularly when I have Occasion to mention Time or Space, I shall confine myself to your Method of calculating. I shall therefore tell you that this Globe we are now upon, is One Thousand Miles Diameter, consequently Three Thousand, and upwards, of Miles in Circumference. We have no Sun, but every Thing grows spontaneous, and we are enlightened by the concave Part of your World, which is entirely covered with Jewels of different Sorts and immense Sizes. The Carbuncles, the Rubies, the vast Quantity of Diamonds, of Saphires, of Emeralds, Topazes and all the various Sorts of precious Stones that are known amongst you, with many others, are there in such Quantities, and all of them of such a prodigious Size, that the Lustre that comes from them, gives Light to our World. But perhaps you'll ask, how these Jewels can shew so great a Lustre, without the Assistance of a light Body to dart its Rays upon them; for that a Diamond cannot be seen in the Dark; and that it is absolutely necessary, to discover its Brilliancy, that it be assisted by the Sun, or some other Body, to dart its Rays upon it. This I will explain to you.
Our World, then, is itself a luminous Body, which by casting its Rays upon she immense Number of Jewels with which the concave Part of your World is studded, they strike the Surface of our World with all their Brilliancy; but even this would only be a partial Light, were it not for our Atmosphere, which is computed at thirty Miles high. Their Rays meeting with it, are refracted, and by that Means occasion an equal and universal Light. For the Sun itself would be but of little Service to you, were it not for your Atmosphere; without that, he would appear as a red hot Piece of Iron, at an immense Distance, and you would only see him (as thro' a smoked Glass) without his being of any Service to you. Thus our Day is occasion'd, and by this Means we should have had no Night, had not the wise Creator provided otherwise, that we might have a proper Time to rest from the Labours of the Day. In short, there is an opake Body exactly the Size and Shape of half the concave Part of your World; the Distance of which from the Surface of our Globe, we reckon at Two Thousand Five Hundred and upwards of Miles. This moving round us once in Twenty-four Hours, occasions Day and Night; for by this Means our whole Globe has equal Day and Night, for at Six our Day begins, and at Six the Night takes place. But even our Nights are not entirely dark; for in the Body (before mention'd) are sprinkled, by an Omnipotent Hand, Thousands of Precious Stones; and of so large a Size, that even at that Distance, they appear as large and bright, as the most Brilliant of your Planets: Thus when Day forsakes us, we are comforted by a Sky, as glorious as yours on the most starry Night. (And indeed so I found it; for nothing can be more beautiful than their Nights are.) Our World, continues he, is likewise of a warm Nature; and the Particles of Heat, arising from its Surface, diffuse a moderate Warmth over the Whole; and by this Means we have never an Extremity of Heat or Cold, but a constant agreeable Temperature.
We have a vast Plenty of all Sorts of the Productions of Nature; but to destroy any Creature that has Life, to feed our Luxury, is held the greatest Crime, and unknown amongst us; being well assured, that we have no Right to take away that Life, which God has been pleased to give.
As we have a long Time between this and Dinner, if you please we will take a little Walk. And, as our Capital is only three hundred Miles off, my Son shall accompany you there in a Day or two; and you may if you please, return the next; but I fancy you will find wherewithal to entertain you for some Time.
I was greatly surpriz'd at travelling three hundred Miles, and returning the next Day; however, I deferr'd the satisfying my Curiosity till a convenient Time. I therefore waited on my kind Host, and we most agreeably spent the Time till Dinner, in walking and chatting, but as I fear I have already made this Chapter too long, if you choose to know any farther of my Proceedings, you must follow me to the next.
I am equipt in a Dress suitable to the Fashion of the Country. My Adventure with the Birds. More grave Discourse from my Host. They believe all living Creatures to be endued with rational Souls. A Story on the Subject. My Host is very severe upon all the Inhabitants of our World,—that deserve it.
IT will be necessary to acquaint my Readers, that by this
Time, this good old Man had furnished me with Cloaths suitable to
the Fashion of the Country. And I don't know that ever I was so
pleased in my Life; I felt quite easy, and so light, that I
thought I could jump over the Moon.
I got up the next Morning sooner than usual, for it was hardly light, and I directed my Course to those charming Fields, that I had travers'd the Day before with my worthy Host. To endeavour to describe their Beauties would be impossible; in short, though they have no Assistance but Nature, they infinitely surpass any Thing that was ever produc'd by Art in our World. Stow itself is a Wilderness in Comparison to them. Here is a continual Spring, and the Perfume that arises from the beautifully enamell'd Ground, and the Verdure of the Trees around, exceed even the most exquisite Nosegay, that could adorn the Cabinet of any of our earthly Monarchs.
Being a little fatigued with walking, I lay down on this Bed of Flowers, where I was enchanted with the melodious Warbling of Thousands of feather'd Songsters, which surrounded me. Amongst the rest, I perceived one, the most beautiful I had ever beheld, and the Vigour and Melody of its Voice (if possible) exceeded any of its Companions. As I had lain quite motionless for Fear of frightening these heavenly Choiristers, and almost stupified with Pleasure, I now softly ventured to raise my Head, that I might the more thoroughly examine the Beauties of this little Charmer. Being greatly apprehensive that the least Motion I should make, would scare them all away (as is common in our World) I only just raised my Head on my right Hand, which I had no sooner done, than to my infinite Surprize and Joy, instead of flying from me, they came close to me; some perch'd on my Shoulders, some on my Head, some on my Thighs, and the beautiful little Creature, seated itself upon my Hand (which supported my Head) and put its little Beak to my Lips. My Surprize was so great, that I really thought myself inchanted, and I began to imagine that they were corporeal Beings attending the Actions of the Inhabitants of the Central World, in the same Manner that we are told Aerial or Incorporeal ones do upon ours on Earth. Presently they began a Concert that surpassed any Thing that I had ever heard. Whilst I was thus enchantingly entertain'd, I perceiv'd at a Distance, my generous Host, who missing me in my Room, was come to tell me that Breakfast was ready, I rose and attended him Home, our delightful Concert accompanying us the whole Way.
I found his Wife and Son, and all the Rest of his Family, except the married Daughter, she being gone to her Husband, who liv'd about a hundred Miles off, which being so near gave her often, the Opportunity of paying her Duty to her dear Parents, as she could easily dine with them and return home to Supper. As soon as Breakfast was over, my worthy Friend conduced me to his Study, where, when we were seated, he began as follows.
My dear Son, as I don't doubt but you will soon have an Inclination to visit our Capital, I am desirous of giving you what Instructions I am able, that you may be the better prepar'd (in our Absence) to account for those Things which, to you, may appear wonderful and supernatural.
Therefore as you may, perhaps, have met with some Things, that may have created your Surprize, if any such have occurr'd, freely name them, and as freely I will explain what to you may have appear'd as a Phenomenon. I return'd him Thanks, and acquainted him with my Surprize at the Freedom of the Birds, I had observ'd in the Morning, so uncommon amongst us. He smiled and thus proceeded.
You must know, my Son, that amongst us, what you to-Day took for a Miracle, happens every Hour, nay every Minute. But as I shall be oblig'd to be a little severe upon your World, you must excuse me, for nothing that I shall say will be intended to offend, but instruct you. Know then that, with us, not only the various Feather'd Inhabitants of the Air, but likewise all the different Creatures of our World, are as tame as the most domestic Animals amongst you. And why should they be otherwise? We are, and they know us to be their Friends. Instead of persecuting and destroying them, as in your World you do for your Diversion; next after worshipping and adoring our Creator, it is the principal Part of our Religion to protect what he has been pleased to give Life to. For this Reason they are in no Fear of us, and as they fly from and avoid you as their Enemies, they are pleased in being free with us as their Friends. The Reason that you never perceiv'd this before, was, that since you have been here, you have wore your earthly Garb, for which Reason they shunn'd you; now as you appear like one of us, they behav'd in the Manner you this Morning saw them. I must farther tell you, that we believe every living Creature to be endu'd with a rational Soul. This may not appear so extraordinary to you, as you must undoubtedly have heard of several in your World, that have supported this Doctrine; however, we are well assured of the Truth of it, and what you are pleased to call Instinct (a Word you none of you understand) we call Reason.
You allow no Animals to have Souls, we allow them all to have Souls. I have long inhabited your World, and I don't doubt but you may at least remember my Name, when I tell you, that I am that very Pacolet, that was so kind a Friend to one of the best Writers* your World ever produc'd, and for this Reason I am well acquainted, not only with your Customs, but your Doctrines.
(* Sir Richard Steel. Vid. Tatlers.)
You allow none but yourselves to have Reason, the more Shame for you, when those (which you unjustly call the Brute Creation) exceed you so far.
Must it not be paying yourselves a bad Compliment, to say you are the only rational Part of the Creation, and at the same Time perceive, what you call Brutes behave with infinite more Reason than yourselves? whilst one of your own Species shall behave in a Manner inconsistent with all Reason.
In what manner does that Part (which you call the Brute Creation) behave inconsistently with Reason? is it shewn by the Ant, who lays up for Winter, whilst the Spendthrift squanders all To-Day and starves To-morrow? Is it in the Beaver, whole Skill in Architecture exceeds the fam'd Inigo himself? Is it in the Bee, whose Works infinitely surpass those of any of your rational Beings, and whose Armies are better conducted than yours, by your most famous Generals? The very Spider provides itself a House, whilst your rational Beings are starving for want of a Covering to their Heads. The Young of any Species as soon as deliver'd from their Dam, have Sense to avoid what is hurtful. Is it so with the Young of your rational Beings? Your Children, till they are a Year old or more, are mere Idiots, and would as soon grasp a flaming Candle as a Rattle. Is it Reason? or is it not, that makes the new-hatch'd Duckling fly to its Element the Water, and the Chick avoid it? Is it Reason that makes your Horse, your Dog, or any other Creature that you treat well, to be faithful to you, and after Years of Absence single you out of Hundreds, and immediately, in their dumb Way, return you Thanks for Favours formerly received, and thereby shew their Gratitude; a Quality unknown to you Men of Reason! Surely this is Reason.
I remember when I was in your World to hear a Gentleman tell the following true Story:
In the Ship, said he, that brought me over from the West Indies, there was a Monkey tied to the Shrouds on the Quarter Deck, I often (pursu'd he) took Delight in playing with, and making much of him; by this Means I became a great Favourite; and tho' he was of a fierce mischievous Disposition, yet to me he was as quiet as a Lamb. It happened one Afternoon, that several of the Seamen were teazing and vexing of him, some striking him, others throwing Things, and in short using him very ill. I happen'd to be standing close to one of the Men, that had used him the worst, and by Accident had laid my Hand upon his Shoulder. The Creature watching an Opportunity to revenge himself for the Insults received, suddenly jumped upon his Shoulder, seized my Hand with his Teeth, and made them meet, through the fleshy Part between my Fore-finger and Thumb. The Wound was so great that I was obliged to retire to get it dress'd, and tho' many Years ago, the Mark is still visible. I wonder'd (continued he) that the Creature shou'd be so treacherous to me, who had always us'd him with so much Kindness: but a considerable Time after I found my Error, and that the Compliment was not intended for me, but the Person whole Shoulder I was leaning upon; in short we landed in England, and I saw no more of the Monkey. About three Years after I happen'd to visit a Lady in London, and upon coming into her Room I saw a Monkey chained in the Window; upon my Entrance he fell a jumping and skipping like a mad Thing. I was going towards him, but the Lady desired me to desist, assuring me he was the most mischievous Creature of the Kind ever seen, and that there was only one Servant in the House durst go near him, and that was the Footman who fed him. As he still jumped and tore excessively, I desir'd the Servant might be called to unloose him; with great Reluctance the Lady comply'd, but insisted on retiring herself. As soon as the Man enter'd, I desir'd him to unchain the Monkey, which he had no sooner done, than the Creature jumped upon my Shoulder, snatched up one of my Hands, looked at it, and threw it down again, took up the other, perceiv'd the Mark (which was occasioned by the Wound) and immediately began to kiss and lick it, as an Acknowledgment for the Injury he had formerly done me (by biting me thro' Mistake on board the Ship) and the only Method he had to make me Reparation. For this was the very Monkey, as I found by enquiring of the Lady how she came by it.—Now that this Creature should, after so long a Time as three Years, know the Gentleman, and remember the Injury he had done him, and, as far as was in his Power, make him Satisfaction, must be Reason, or there is no such Thing as Reason. I could mention many other Instances of the Reason in Beasts, but don't doubt that many must occur to yourself, and particularly in Dogs. Nay, I have heard, when I was in your World, that a Jury brought a Person in guilty of Murder, meerly upon the Evidence of a Dog, and he was hang'd accordingly. Surely, at least that Jury allowed the Dog to be a rational Creature, or they would not have had so great a Regard to his Evidence.
Treachery, Deceit, Fraud, Ingratitude, Slander and Backbiting, are unknown amongst what you are pleased to call the Brutal Part of the Creation: strange they should be so universal amongst the rational Part!
The Brute Creation have only two Passions, and both natural being by divine Wisdom made most predominant, in order to preserve and supply the Creation, I mean Hunger and Lust. For these they will fight and quarrel, but when they are satisfy'd all Animosities cease. Amongst your rational Beings, the whole Study of their Lives, is to feed upon their Fellow-Creatures. Deceit, Falsehood, Avarice, Cunning, and Ingratitude, with a Train more of other Vices are what they are made up of. How can you boast of being the only Creatures blest with Reason, when those very Beings to which you deny it, act do much more consistently with it? But my dear Son, for the present we will suspend this Subject, which I may appear to have handled too roughly, but my chief Aim in it was to convince you, that what I mentioned when we first met, of our believing all Creatures to have rational Souls, is not so unreasonable a Tenet as you might at first think it. I returned him many Thanks for the Trouble he had been at, and we parted for the present, but not before he again desir'd me, not to take his free Manner of speaking ill, for that in our future Discourse he might appear more severe, but that he meant no personal Affront, and only design'd to expose Folly Ignorance, and Prejudice.
As I was by this Time look'd upon as one of their Family, between Meals I strolled about as I lik'd, without Interruption; and being well acquainted with their Hours of Eating, it is not to be imagin'd I was to be looked for at those Times. Therefore, gentle Reader, if this is your Hour of Dining or Supping, I will give you a fair Opportunity, by concluding this Chapter.
In this World there are no Servants, nor different Degrees of Nobility. The Benefit that accrues from it. A few Remarks which may appear ill-natured. My Adventure with a Lion, and soon after with a Hare. The Inhabitants never fail to return Thanks to the Almighty for Favours receiv'd. A great deal that may appear agreeable to some and the Reverse to others. The Son of my old Friend proposes our setting out together the next Morning for the Capital, which I readily consent to.
IT is necessary to observe, that in this World, there is no
such Thing as Servants. As it is the Custom to marry very early,
they are soon well stock'd with Children, and there always
remains sufficient of them unmarried, to do the Family Work. So
that here there is no Opportunity (as with us) to treat their
Fellow-Creatures, those of the same Flesh and Blood with
themselves, as Slaves or Brutes, nay often worse. For a great
Person (in our World) will treat his Dog, or my Lady her Monkey,
with infinitely more Tenderness than their Domestics; and
frequently little Shock has got the Cholick, or a Fever on
his Nerves, when no Expence is spar'd to procure the best Advice
and Attendance for him, whilst the poor Footman is dying unheeded
in the Garret of a Fever, which he got by waiting in the Rain and
Snow, till four in the Morning, upon his Lady at a Rout, a Drum,
or perhaps a worse Place. In short in this Country there are no
Degrees of Nobility. Every Body is equally respected, if they are
honest, and a particular Regard is shewn to nothing but old Age;
that is held in great Veneration, and and that only meets with a
superior Respect.
That Bane to Society and Humanity, that golden Idol which makes the Villain respected, and the Man of Virtue despised, who is not in Possession of it, is here unknown, any farther than as Dirt to trample on.
In these happy Regions there is no such Thing as Want, the Earth without Labour yields an Abundance of all Necessaries of Life, and the Industry of the People furnish their own Families with Cloathing; and they are astonished to hear that on Earth, almost the Whole of what God created alike for the Use of every Individual, is in the Hands of few, and whilst they wallow in Luxury, those, who have as much Right to the Productions of their common Mother, the Earthy are starving for Want.
Here is never seen that little Brat of Power, a Thing void of every Quality (but that of being born to undeserved Riches) strutting as if the Ground was not good enough to bear him, and cocking his impudent Nose at Merit in Rags. The Insolence of these Creatures of Fortune, with which we are pestered, is here unknown, and nothing but Friendship, Hospitality, and a brotherly Affection to all their Fellow-Creatures, reigns in this happy World.
This Equality of Fortune runs through the whole Empire, and there being no such Things as Places of Profit, prevents Numbers of Rogueries too common amongst us. That Bit of Dirt, for which we would sell our God, our Country, and our very Souls, they being Strangers to, (at least the Use we put it to) makes them not liable to the like Temptations. But I am painting the Vices of the Inhabitants of our World, when I ought to be acquainting them with the Customs of an unknown one.
I had one Day strolled a good way from home, musing on my (then) present Situation, and happy, as I thought, in my Change, (from a World of Inhumanity, Uncharitableness, and Ingratitude, to one, whose Inhabitants were blessed with all the social Virtues to a high Degree) when I found myself in the Middle of a large Forest. The most agreeable Perfume came from a Tuft of Trees at a small Distance, to which I directed my Course.
I was hardly entered this little Wood, before I perceived a monstrous Lion, as I thought asleep; but upon my Approach he instantly arose, shook his Mane, and stretched himself as we often see a Cat after sleeping.
This Sight alarmed me greatly, and I attempted to hide myself behind a Tree: by this Time he saw me, and came trotting up to me. I then expected nothing but immediate Death, but to my agreeable Surprize, as soon as he came near me, he lay on one Side, licked my Feet, and played all the fawning Tricks, that we see a Dog when he wants to be made much of. I then recollected what the good old Man had told me, viz. That all the Creatures of this World were as tame as our most domestic Animals. I then took Courage, and stooped down and stroked him, as one would do a Lap-Dog. He seem'd greatly pleased, and as soon as he rose, he went and fetched a large Stone, came and laid it down at my Feet, and looked me full in the Face with a Sort of impatient Pleasure. As I had often seen Dogs with us do the same, with a Desire to fetch and carry, I had a Mind to try the Experiment; I accordingly took up the Stone, and threw it as far as I could, he pursued with all the Quickness he was Master of, and returned galloping with it in his Mouth, and laid it down at my Feet. I repeated it several Times with the same Success; and having play'd with him till I was tir'd, I left him, in order to return home. In my Way, I discovered a Hare on her Seat, I then wished I had had a Gun, but not being so provided, I stoop'd down for a Stone to knock her on the Head; she saw me, instantly came running up to me, lick'd my Hand, and play'd a thousand fawning Tricks.. I then must own my Conscience flew in my Face, and I was ashamed I had not yet been able to shake off my cruel and inhuman Disposition, (which I had acquired in our World) but came to a Resolution to be more circumspect for the future, and to remember that I was in one, where nothing was known but Benevolence and Humanity to the whole Creation. For how despicable I appeared to myself, when I reflected, that at one Moment I was almost distracted with Terror, for fear of being destroyed by a Beast (whose Strength greatly surpassed mine,) and the next Moment attempted to destroy a poor harmless Creature, because I was superior to it. This Reflection may be applied to the various Occurrences that happen amongst Mankind. To the Great and Powerful we are generally mean and submissive, and to our Inferiors insolent and arrogant.
At the Beginning of this Book I often mention'd the Husband and Wife's holding up their Hands, and repeating Words I did not then understand, as likewise the Resentment that the old Man shew'd, at my attempting to prostrate myself before him, and to kiss his Hand. I shall here briefly give the Reasons for them. There is not one Thing that happens to them, For which they do not instantly return Thanks to their Creator, nor is there any Thing they undertake but they pray to him for a Blessing upon it.
This they do by raising their Hands and addressing a few extempore Words to him, who is Goodness without Bounds, and who never fails to hearken to those, that properly call upon him. As to the latter Part, they hold it as the greatest Insult that can be offer'd to the supreme Being, to pay the same Respect to his Creatures that they do to himself. And indeed I have often been shock'd to see the Knee bent to a Poor wretched Mortal, at the same Time that it is the Posture made use of, in Worshiping and Adoring that infinite Being to whom Worship is only due.
Surely it is scandalous to see a Parcel of Wretches, (for the Sake of worldly Gain) paying the same Adoration to their Prince, that they do to their Creator. Nay bowing to, and almost adoring, even those Things of Power, that have an arbitrary Disposal of all Offices, when at the same Time they never set a Moment aside, to return Thanks to the great Giver of all good Things, thro' whose Mercy they exist, and by whose Frown they may be eternally destroy'd. I allow there ought to be a peculiar Respect shewn to Crown'd Heads, and great Personages, but then I would have it in Moderation, and some Distinction made between what is paid them and the Author of the Universe. But to return, after I had some Time passed my Time in the most agreeable Manner, with this good Family; the Son, one Night, proposed our setting out the next Day for the Capital. I embraced the Proposal with Joy, and at our retiring to Rest, he told me he would have every Thing ready for our Departure, by Eight in the Morning. For, says he, as it is not above three hundred Miles thither, we may easily accomplish our Journey whilst it is Light; so if you please to be ready by that Time, I will be prepared to attend you. I promised him I would, and we retired to our respective Apartments. When I got to my Room, I could not help wondering how we were to travel three hundred Miles in so little a while, for as yet I had not seen their Manner of travelling; however, I suspended my Judgment, till I should have it explain'd, and retiring to Bed had a delightful Night's Rest.
In the Morning I got up and waited on the Family in the Parlour, where we breakfasted; the good old Lady had made up a Basket with sweet Cakes, and different Fruits, and a Bottle of excellent Cordial, (but not quite so strong as our Ladies of Quality make use of) to take with us on our Journey. After taking an affectionate Leave of my good old Man, his Wife and Family, and promis'd not to make our Stay very long, we prepared for our Journey. The Manner in which we travelled, the Reader may know if he pleases to read the next Chapter.
We set out on our Journey. Our Manner of travelling in this Country described. We call by the Way on a Friend, where we stay all Night. Our Entertainers describ'd; the Manner of Fishing in this Country.
AS soon as we came to the Door, I saw a Vehicle, something
resembling one of our one Horse Chairs, but much lighter and
neater, for the Back and Sides was only a thin Sort of Lattice.
At each Side (instead of Wheels) were two monstrous Bladders,
belonging to what Beast I did not then know, but ten Times as
large as a Bullock's Bladder. These were fastened (by a Garth)
which went under the Bottom of the Chaise, and making two Wings
served to sustain it (whilst in the Air) in a proper Equilibrium.
Before the the Chaise were two Birds, about twice as large as our
largest Swans, but of a different Colour and Make. They resembled
the most beautiful green Parrots both in Colour and Shape, but
far exceeded them in the Beauty of both.
To the Breasts of these were fastned silken Cords, which being introduc'd into the Chaise, serv'd to guide them, as the Reins with us do Horses.
As soon as we were seated, and my Conductor had taken hold of the Reins, they spread their Wings, and in an Instant soared to the Height of (at least) a Quarter of a Mile, and my Companion gently moving the Reins, (to direct their Course) they proceeded at a prodigious Rate, and what was very observable, they seldom mov'd their Wings, but after a Flap kept them extended for a considerable Time, as smooth as a Hawk hovering For his Prey: and it is necessary to observe, that the Bladders kept the Chaise up in an equal Line with the Birds.
I must own I was not a little Frighted at this new Way of travelling, which my Companion perceiving, he rally'd me very genteely, and in a short Time I became perfectly reconcil'd to it.
In this Manner we travell'd at a vast Rate, and I could often perceive Towns and Houses under us, as we past over them.
After we had proceeded on our Journey about three Hours, my Companion shew'd me at a considerable Distance a Country Seat, it seem'd to be about ten Miles a Head of us, and he inform'd me it was his married Sister's House, (whom I have mention'd before) and if I approv'd of it, we should call there and take a little Refreshment. As I had a great Regard for the Lady, (not only as being the Daughter of my best of Friends, but likewise for her own amiable Disposition, besides a a Sort of Curiosity to see her Husband) I readily consented. As soon as we came over the Court that led to the House, he stopped the Birds, and taking some small Cakes about the Size of Gingerbread Nuts, from under his Robe, he threw them down upon the Ground; the Birds immediately descended in Pursuit of their Food, and in an Instant we were landed (if I may use the Expression) before the Gate of a genteel and elegant House.
He immediately discharged the Birds from their Fetters, and they flew away, and were presently out of Sight. I express'd my Surprize to him at his discharging them till we got to our Journey's End; but he desir'd I would suspend my Curiosity, and that I might depend upon it, he would take care to provide for the Remainder of our Journey.
We had hardly enter'd the Court (leading to the House) before the good Lady came to meet us, and in the most affectionate Manner, return'd her Brother Thanks for the Favour he had done her, in paying her a Visit, which, she said, gave her more than ordinary Pleasure, as he had brought me along with him. She enquir'd most dutifully after her Parents, and having paid her Compliments in the obligingest Manner to me, conducted us into her House.
As soon as we enter'd, she acquainted us, that her Husband was just gone into the Garden to fish, but that she would immediately call him; or, if we pleas'd, conduct us to him. The latter was accepted on, much to my Inclination, as I was in Hopes, by that Means, to find that they were, in some Particulars, as cruel as us; and though they did not destroy the Land-Creatures, yet they spar'd not the Water-ones. I must own I had so much of my earthly Constitution left, that it would have given me a Pleasure, to have had an Opportunity of upbraiding them for their Cruelty.
After we had enter'd the Garden, and pass'd through the most delightful Walks and Groves I had ever beheld, we discover'd her Husband at a small Distance, sitting by the Side of a large Pond. As soon as he saw us, he rose to meet us, and after saluting most affectionately his Brother-in-Law, he was by his Wife, introduced to me, and having heard my Story before, received me with infinite Complaisance. Then addressing himself to his Wife, My Dear, says he, I have had good Sport since I saw you, and if you please to bring our Visitors along with you, I will shew them the Success I have met with; for I verily believe, I have made a thousand Fish happy, by filling their Bellies. We follow'd him to the Pond, and found a Cistern near if, full of clear Water, and several Fish in it of different Sorts, flouncing and playing about: At the Side of it, was a Vessel full of a Sort of Grain, of which he every now and then threw a Handful or two in, to feed the Fish he had caught. He then went to the Pond-side, and said he would shew us what Diversion he had: upon his Approach he stirr'd the Water with a Stick, and Hundreds of Fish, of different Sorts, appear'd on the Surface, and came near enough him, that he might take them out with his Hand, which, upon his doing, he put them into the Cistern, and threw several Handfuls of Grains in, to feed them.
After he had for some Time entertain'd us with his Dexterity, in first catching the Fish, and then filling their Bellies, he took the Cistern and deliver'd the Fish again to the Pond. It will be necessary to observe, that though the Cistern was three or four hundred Weight, he lifted it with all the Ease imaginable; for a Body on our Earth whose Weight is one Pound, on the Surface of this Globe would be fifty or sixty, the attractive Power being so much greater. This must easily appear to all those who are acquainted with the Nature and Cause of Gravity; but what gives the Bodies here so much Lightness, is a certain Ointment, which the Inhabitants prepare, and which I have already mentioned to have been used upon myself; rubbing them with this, takes off the Power of the Central Attraction.
As soon as he had done fishing, the Lady told us she would go and prepare Dinner, and insisted upon our staying, which we consented to: During her Absence the Matter of the House entertain'd us with shewing us his Garden. After we had amused ourselves till such Time as he thought every Thing was ready in the House for our Reception, he conduced us in, where we found a Dinner most elegantly prepared, after the Manner of this Country; and if the various Productions of the Ground can be sufficient to satisfy the Demands of Nature, we had them in a plentiful Degree.
In our Passage to the House, I could not help reflecting how much more Pleasure it must give one to protect Life, than to take it away; and how much happier he must be in catching the Fish with no other Intent than to feed them, than it can be with us, to first torture them with Hooks, and then throw, them on the Ground to expire in Agonies. Surely, if we were to make it our own Case, we should refrain from many Barbarities, that we look upon as Amusements, and not entertain ourselves by tormenting any Thing that has Life for our Diversion, when we are sensible how terrible it would be to us, to be serv'd in the same Manner. For every Thing that has Life, as naturally endeavours to preserve it, and feels Pain as severely as we, the great, self-conceited Lords of the Universe.
It is necessary to observe, that tho' (in this World) the Fowls of the Air and the various Sorts of Land Creatures are so tame as before has been mentioned, yet the Inhabitants of the Watery Element are a little more shy, which, I take must proceed from their not being so often amongst them, and consequently not so familiar.
In order to keep up the Character of an Historian, I shall describe the Persons and Dress of our kind Entertainers; for I have often observed, that few Histories are regarded, unless we are made acquainted with these important Particulars. Therefore to be brief, the Husband was tall and well shaped, the most amiable and inviting Aspect I ever beheld, full of Benevolence and Humanity, and this indeed is the Characteristick of most of the Inhabitants of this Country. His Beard was not very long, he not being above seventy Years of Age (equal to about twenty in our World) he wore a Turbant on his Head of a Sort of blue Sattin, adorned with Plumes of various Colours. His Jacket was white, his Petticoat the same, and his Robe, (which covered the Whole) of Crimson; his whole Person was agreeable, but his Behaviour made it charming. His delightful Consort had something exceedingly ravishing in her Countenance, tho' not a compleat Beauty. Her Hair, which was black, hang down in Ringlets to her Waist, her Jacket was of Pink, her Petticoat the same, and as she wore no Robe, the more easily might be perceiv'd the Gracefulness of her Person, which exceeded any Thing I had ever seen in our World, though unassisted by Stays, or any other Invention, made use of by us to render a Shape becoming, which generally produces the contrary Effect.
By these amiable Persons we were entertained in the most agreeable Manner during the Remainder of the Day; and as they pressed us very much to stay all Night we readily consented, intending to pursue our Journey the next Morning early. After a Variety of pleasing Conversation, and Supper being ended, we retired to, Rest, and I have the Vanity to believe, very well satisfied with one another's Company. And now, kind Reader, as I am going to Rest myself, I will give you the same Indulgence, by concluding this Chapter.
We take leave of our kind Hosts, and proceed on our Journey. We arrive at the Capital. This Metropolis described. We agree to wait on the Emperor the next Morning. We arrive at the Palace. The Person of this Monarch described. He receives us with great Affability, and his Discourse delights me.
THE next Morning, when I left my Chamber, I found none but my
Companion stirring. He carried me into the Court Yard, and
pulling from under his Robe a Sort of Whistle, he blew three
Times, when instantly several of the same Sort of Birds appear'd
that had brought us to this Place. He singled out two, and having
fixed them to the Harness, and left with them some of the same
Nuts he made use of the Day before, we left the Chaise ready
prepared for our Journey, in order to return to the House, where
we found our kind Host, and his Wife preparing Breakfast, against
we made our Appearance. As soon as we had finished it, and taken
an affectionate Leave of our worthy Entertainers, promising, if
possible, to call upon them at our Return, we stept into our
Chaise, and instantly were carried up into the Air, when my
Companion directing the Reins, our Birds proceeded, with as much
Celerity as those the Day before.
We had now about two hundred Miles to travel, which at the Rate we proceeded, would be accomplished in about six Hours; but before we had got half our Journey, I did not forget to remind my Companion of the Basket his Mother had given us at our setting out; and I believe the Motion was as agreeable to him as it was to myself; for we eat very heartily of the Cakes and Fruit, and did not neglect to taste the good Lady's Cordial.
It is necessary to observe, that travelling in the Air gets one a prodigious Appetite, and it is not to be wondered at, that we should indulge in such innocent Food, and in so keen a Climate, when I have often seen the greatest Persons in our Nation, on a hunting Match, devour Goose, Beef, and other Pies, in the Heighth of a Chace.
About half an Hour after one we discovered the Capital, which is called Oudentominos, in their Language, the Wonder of the World; and soon after we came directly over the principal Square, when my Conductor throwing down a few of the same Nuts he had done before, the Birds descended, and we arrived in this great City.
We put up this Night at an Acquaintance's House of my Companion's, where we were entertained with an Elegance and Hospitality peculiar to these People, and the next Morning, he carried me to see the City.
The principal Square (which is in the very Centre of the City,) is an Octagon, from each Square of which proceeds a Street of a Mile long, and as broad as the Hay-Market. This forms eight principal Streets, and the Intervals between them (which are very considerable) are composed of By-streets, and Ground for the Use of the Inhabitants. In the Middle of the Square is the principal Church, much larger than St. Paul's, and quite a plain Building, as they say it is impossible they can do Honour to God by outward Show and Grandeur, nothing being so acceptable to him, as a Purity and Simplicity of Heart, inclin'd to perform his Commandments, and as far as in us lies, to render Thanks for the inestimable Blessings we every Moment receive. This, say they, may as well be done in a Barn as any other Place, for he delighteth not in Show and Decorations, neither can the Workmanship of Man add to his Glory, which is compleat beyond Comprehension. But as I should be unwilling to prejudice any Set of Men against these worthy good People, I shall give no Account of their Religion, being certain it will disoblige those of a different Way of thinking with them. Therefore let it suffice to say, that they are blessed with all the Morality taught us by the Christian Religion in its Purity, and without Adulteration.
At the Extremity of each of these Streets is a Church, but not near so large as that in the Square; and Streets being carried from the End of one of the principal ones to the End of another, and so all round the Whole, the City forms a large Octagon. Their Houses are all of an equal Height, viz. Six Stories, and in each of them live several Families.
As I had a great Curiosity to see their King, my Companion promised me that Satisfaction the next Morning. Accordingly about ten o'Clock we set out for the Palace, it was about half a Mile out of Town, and being so near we had a pleasant Walk.
I asked my Conductor the Manner in which his Majesty was to be addressed, that I might be prepar'd for the Introduction. He burst out a laughing, and begged to know if I thought their Emperors took upon themselves the State that our Earthly ones did? No, says he, our Kings know they are Men as well as their Subjects; and so far from attempting to be revered as Gods, and looking upon their Fellow-Creatures as a Species infinitely beneath them, they think it their Duty (as it certainly is) to be the principal Servant of the People.
There is here (continu'd he) no such Thing, as an hereditary Succession. The reigning Prince is always the oldest Person in the Empire (which, indeed is our whole World, for we are only one People) and there is but one Prince; and for this Reason there is the Age of every Person in the Empire registered. It is very seldom amongst ourselves, that the Prince has any Occasion to exert his Authority, tho' sometimes it so happens. But what for these hundred Years last past, has given the greatest Uneasiness to our Government, has been a Parcel of the Inhabitants of your World, who were about that Time thrown upon this Globe: but be not offended, they were not of your Country, but belong'd to one of your Colonies, without Exception the wickedest Race of Mortals that ever existed. By the Account they gave, they were for their Sins swallowed up by an Earthquake; and tho' Numbers perished, above an hundred Men and Women arriv'd safe on our World, where they met with the greatest Hospitality; but they made so ungrateful a Return for Favours received, that our Emperor was obliged (for our own Security) to deal harder with them than is customary amongst us: In short they were confin'd to one Spot, which bears the Name of the Earthly Quarter; and I have heard, that since their first Coming they have encreased to Thousands.
This Discourse brought us to the Habitation of the Monarch. Upon our entering the Hall, I saw several Persons of different Ages, but one in particular drew my Attention.
He was upwards of six Foot High, his Countenance majestick, and his Beard (which was as white as the driven Snow) reached down to his Waist; he had on his Head a Turbant of white Satin adorned with Feathers of the most exquisite Colours, his Jacket was blue, his Petticoat* the same, and over the whole was a purple Robe. That, says I to my Friend, is the King; you judge right, says he, and I will have the Honour of introducing you to him. He did so, and after mentioning the Particulars of my Adventures, he received me in the most obliging and courteous Manner. He asked me how long I had been in this Country, and what Part of the Earth I belonged to, and several other Questions; to which I gave him proper Answers: but when I mentioned to him that Great Britain gave me Birth, he was pleased most heartily to congratulate me on my good Fortune, in being born on so happy a Spot. For, continued he, though your Country, as well as many other Earthly ones, has groaned under the tyrannick Power of arbritary Princes, some of which are within my Memory, yet you must have been happy to have lived under the Reigns of the best Princes, that ever swayed the British Sceptre. As long as Liberty and all the Blessings attending it are dear to you, so long must be the Name of George. For I am well assured, that was your present reigning King, in a Situation to know the Desires of his Subjects, his benign and honest Heart would make them the happiest People in your World. But your Constitution is such, that the Prince is shut up from all but whom his Minister permits him to see, and by that Means his Subjects suffer Hardships thro' their Ambition, which would not happen were the Prince to be made acquainted with their Complaints, for then they might be assur'd of Redress.
(* This Part of the Dress resembles a Petticoat, by which Name I call it; in the Original it is called. Teneion.)
To have so great a Prince talk to me in so familiar a Manner, quite charm'd me, and (though not permitted) I could have prostrated myself before him and embraced his Feet; to hear him do Justice in so obliging a Manner to the two Best Princes that ever lived, I must own so sensibly affected me, that I wanted Words to express my Gratitude. He perceived it, and waved the Discourse by telling me, that I should be his Guest (at least at Dinner) as long as I stay'd in the City. And sorry I am, says he, to tell you, that your Stay in our World cannot be long, for since the Perfidy we met with from the People of your's (which I don't doubt but you have heard of,) we never permit any Person belonging to the Earth to continue here above twelve Months; this is an inviolable Law that cannot be broke through. To-morrow I shall expect you and my old Friend's Son at Dinner, then perhaps I may tell you more, and I will likewise give you a more agreeable Entertainment, than you have met with, since you have been amongst us; in the mean Time may our great Creator preserve you. So saying we parted, not without my being filled with a Love and Veneration that I never felt before; for undoubtedly nothing can create in us more Respect to our Superiors, than a free and benevolent Temper. This Piece of Policy is little practised amongst the Great of our World, for they are too apt to look upon their Inferiors with the utmost Contempt and Disdain, and are therefore most justly despised, and would be much more so, had they not Laws of their own making to support them in their Insolence.
My Companion and I returned to his Friend's House, and what happened after you may know if you please to read the next Chapter.
I have the Pleasure dining with a Countryman of mine, who had liv'd upwards of one hundred Years in the Central World. He gives us an Invitation to his House the next Day, which we accept of.
THOUGH I had been now near seven Months in this Country, I had
never heard of a Countryman of mine, who had liv'd here above a
hundred Years; and his Company, it seems, was the agreeable
Entertainment that the Emperor was to give me the next Day. As he
said nothing more to me, than that I should then be more
agreeably entertained, than I had been since I was amongst them,
I had the Curiosity to ask my Friend when we came home, if he
knew the Emperor's Meaning? He told me he did; that he had
engaged a Person to dine with us to-morrow, who was my
Countryman, and had been cast upon their World above a hundred
Years ago; that he was a very agreeable, sensible Man, and was as
much esteem'd as any Inhabitant of their World. But, says I, I
thought no one could remain here above twelve Months, on Account
of the ungrateful Behaviour of those, that were confin'd to the
Earthly Quarter. Very true, replied he, but that Order was made
since his Arrival amongst us. I was very desirous to know some
Particulars relating to this Gentleman, and my Friend was so good
to satisfy my Curiosity in the following Manner.
Though the Person you enquire after was thrown upon this Globe before I was born, yet I have often heard the Particulars relating to the Accident that brought him amongst us.
Mr. Thompson, (for that is his Name) was born of a very good and ancient Family in the North of England, but being a younger Son, he was brought up to the Law; the Qualifications necessary for that Profession (if a Person intends to get Money) he was a Stranger to; for he had a Heart that always made him feel the Distresses of his Fellow-Creatures, and he was so strictly scrupulous, that he could never bring himself to take a Fee to do a dishonest Thing: besides, his Inclination was always to accommodate Matters between Parties in a friendly Manner, rather than set them together by the Ears, for his own Advantage and their Destruction.
He likewise frequently paid Debts for those that he was applied to, to send to Gaol, when they were not too large, and when they were, he never would be employ'd on these Occasions, being a great Enemy to the imprisoning the Body for Debt. By this Means, you may imagine he could not think of making an Estate, but, on the contrary, was always extremely poor.
This Profession not suiting his Inclination, he soon quitted it, and liv'd retired upon the Little he had left; thinking there was more Pleasure in an honest Obscurity, than in the greatest Splendour, when acquired by Villainy and Oppression, and the Ruin of his Fellow-Creatures.
The Accident that brought him amongst us, was very extraordinary. He had one Day dined with a Friend in the Country, where he stay'd very late, and coming home at Night he lost his Way: at last he discovered a Light, which prov'd to be what is called in your World a Will in the Whisp, or Jack in the Lanthorn, a Sort of Meteor rising out of fenny and marshy Places. He follow'd it for some Time, but presently sunk down, and found himself surrounded with Mud, which he soon got clear of, and then continued falling as it were down a great Precipice. In short, he tumbled through the Crust of the upper World, and at last arrived in this; the Manner of which, as you have already experienced, I need not enter into Particulars.
I had a great Curiosity to see this Person, and the next Day at Dinner we waited on the Emperor. As there were several Persons assembled, he asked with great good Nature, whether I could distinguish amongst the Company which was my Countryman? I look'd round me, and soon pitch'd upon one who I thought must be Mr. Thompson.
There was a Sweetness in his Looks that exceeded any Thing I had ever beheld. He was about five Feet ten Inches high, pretty corpulent, and his Cheeks resembled the Damask Rose; there was an infinite deal of Benevolence in his Countenance and his Air commanded Respect. Though in his hundred and thirtieth Year, he did not look older than a healthy Person does amongst us at Forty. The Emperor introduced me to him, and he received me with great Tenderness. He asked several Questions relating to his native World, all which I answered to the best of my Power, and I immediatly conceiv'd an Esteem for him which superior Merit demands.
During Dinner Mr. Thompson entertain'd us with his Discourse in the most agreeable Manner, it chiefly tended upon the wonderful Works of God, and how infinitely they surpassed the Conceptions or Ideas of Mortals.
After Dinner having a Plumb, with the Blue upon it as fresh as gathered, in his Hand; he took notice that it was World to Thousands, and that what we saw and called the Blue, was composed of an infinite Number of living Creatures of different Sizes, and no doubt but there are some amongst them that feed upon the smaller, and are as terrible to them as a Lion is to a Lamb; for, says he, nothing is great or small but by Comparison: that is, by comparing the Magnitude of one Body with that of another, viz. A Mouse is small in Comparison to a Cat, a Cat to an Elephant, and an Elephant to a Mountain; a Mountain to the World, and the World in Comparison to the Sun: On the contrary, a Mouse is a Monster, when compar'd to a Flea; a Flea to a Mite, and a Mite to one of those living Creatures, which are discover'd by the Help of Glasses, and Millions of which a Grain of Sand would cover. Yet one of these minute Bodies must be of a stupendous Size, when compared with one of the Globules of Blood that runs through through its Veins. But as Matter is indivisible, that is, cannot be divided into nothing; one of these Globules must be in Comparison to minuter Parts of Matter, as the whole World is to a Grain of Sand. But how exquisitely fine must be the Tendons and Fibres that are in the Texture of these little Creatures! and yet they are large when compared with the Parts of which they are composed.
What I have said of Great and Small, may likewise be apply'd to Space. We can only judge of it by Comparison. We look upon the Distance between us and the Sun, to be infinite, being eighty-one Million of Miles; but the Space contained in the Earth's annual Orbit round the Sun, and whose Diameter is upwards of one hundred and sixty-two Million of Miles, consequently the Orbit itself four hundred eighty-fix Millions, is no more in Comparison to that contained in the Orbit of the nearest fixed Star, than the Size of a Grain of Sand is to the whole World; and even this vast Space will bear no Comparison to infinite and unlimited Space.
It is the same as to Time, we can only judge according to our Senses. We look upon an hundred Years, in the World I came from, as a prodigious Age, but what is it in Comparison to ten thousand? An Hour is long in Comparison to a Minute, and a whole Day to an Hour. A whole Day is short to a Year, and a Year to an hundred. But these Calculations are only according to our Ideas.
Cicero in his Tusculans mentions an Insect on the river Hypanis, whose Life never exceeds the Time between Sun-rising and Sun-setting. To these Creatures that Time must be an Age, and one of them that lives till Sun-set must be comparatively as old as a Man at an Hundred.
The Life of a Fly is but a Summer, a Horse is old at Twelve, and if we may believe Historians a Raven lives a thousand Years. And yet this long Term is no more in Comparison to the Raven, than the short one is to Cicero's Hypanians.
As we see that the Lives of different Creatures differ so much, on that little Grain of Sand the Earth, no doubt but other Worlds may be peopled by Beings, that are young at a Thousand or ten Thousand; for he that created the one, is able to create the other; and with him there can be no Time: Past, present and to come he comprehends at one View.
For my own Part, continued he, till by meer Accident I was thrown upon this Central World, I had no Idea of there being one, and inhabited, in the Bowels of the Earth, but as I am now convinc'd that there is, I can the readier believe, that no Part of Matter is uninhabited; and this Plumb that I have now in my Hand, is without doubt, a World to Millions.
In short, these Things are wonderful to us; yet tho' we cannot comprehend, our Wonder ceases, when we consider that all this is the Work of an omnipotent Being. How vain are we then to attempt to search into his Ways, and to pronounce those Things impossible, that we cannot comprehend? This Discourse of Mr. Thompson's met with universal Approbation, and he was pleased to proceed:
Our Comprehension, says he, is confined to a very narrow Sphere, and beyond that we are no more capable of judging, than the Fly was when perched on the Cupola of St. Paul's: Is this, says he, that finely polished Structure, that is the Boast of Mankind? For my Part I can see nothing but a rough unfinished Piece, full of Inequalities. To his microscopic Eye the most polished Marble or Ivory, would appear full of Rocks and Cavities. So it is with Man, we can comprehend nothing but what we can see; and it is insolent in us to imagine that an omnipotent Hand can form nothing, but what may be taken within the narrow Limits of our Optics.
A Fish sees not Water their Element, neither can we the Air that is ours: but as it is a Liquid as well as the Sea, the same Hand that form'd it so much finer, can make an Eye of such a Structure as to see it, and perhaps therein to discover Myriads of living Creatures, of different Sizes and Species. There is no forming an Idea of Things that are beyond the Limit of our Conceptions: but we must, we cannot refuse to allow, that he who created what we are Eye-Witnesses to, is capable of creating (and undoubtedly has) what we can form no Notions of. As Magnitude, Space and Time, are only comparative, so is Creation. What we see of it, is no more in Comparison to the Whole, than the Time contained in a Second is to Eternity; for as his Power is infinite, so must be his Works.
For this Reason, with me it won't admit of a Doubt, but that there are in the Universe, Beings as much superior to us, as we are to the most minute and senseless Reptile.
The Inhabitants of a Leaf or Flower, proudly strut and say, We are the Lords of the Creation, every Thing was made for us; there is no other World than this that we inhabit, and the whole Works of an infinite Creator are limited to that of a Leaf. So it is with silly Man. He has the Arrogance to say, that this small Grain of Sand which we possess, is the Whole that God created to be inhabited.
Those stupendous Bodies which are to be seen from the World I came from, and which are well known to the Inhabitants of this, as Saturn, Jupiter, two hundred Times larger than the Earth, were only made for its Use, that the Moon was only formed to light it. How ridiculous! when every Requisite necessary for living Beings is discovered in them.
They have their Atmospheres, which can be of no Use to us, nor any in the Universe, unless they be created for the same Use that ours is, viz. to be the great Cause of Life; and that they are, is evident from this, God creates nothing in vain.
Jupiter has his four Moons, Saturn five and his Belt; these have been discovered lately, were unknown to the Ancients, and are only to be seen by the Help of the best of Glasses. What Use are they therefore of to us? But they are of Use, otherwise they would not have been made, and that must be to the Inhabitants of those vast Orbs; who very probably exceed us in every Perfection, as much as their Worlds do in Magnitude that which we inhabit.
Suppose a Person born in a Cottage, should not, 'till he arriv'd at Years of Maturity, ever see an House excepting that he was born in. I say suppose this Person should be brought within Sight of a Building, that he knew no more of than its resembling that, in which he had been brought up. There, as in his own, he would see Chimnies, and Smoak issuing out of them, he would see Windows to enlighten it, and every other Necessary for an Inhabitant as he saw in his own. Would not he conclude that House to be of the same Nature as his own, and inhabited? For surely he would conclude that these Conveniencies were made for some Use. So is it with the heavenly Bodies. We see that they have all the Conveniencies for living Beings as ours has. They have their Atmospheres (which as I observed before) can be of no Use but to those Bodies.
Saturn being at so immense a Distance from the Sun, has his Belt or Ring; which beyond Doubt is to remove the Inconveniencies he would otherwise be under, by being so much depriv'd of the Sun's Rays, and to contract them as with us in a Burning-Glass. He has besides five Moons which by us cannot be seen but by good Glasses. Jupiter likewise at an immense Distance has his four Moons, which are invisible to us without Glasses, besides his Belts, which whether they are upon his Surface or at a Distance, as Saturn's Ring, has not as yet been certainly discovered; but they surely were made for the Use of his inhabitants and not for ours. Besides, can we reasonably imagine so large a Body (two hundred Times larger than the Earth) to be created only to appear to us as a lighted Candle in the Heavens?
The Moon is so extreamly near us (in Comparison to the other two Bodies we have been speaking of) that we have every Certainty of its being inhabited, excepting that of seeing its Inhabitants; for we can very plainly discover Seas, Continents, Islands, Peninsulas and Mountains, and are even able to measure the Heighth of the last. We are certain that the Moon is a Body in every particular resembling the Earth, a terraqueous Globe. Can we then refuse Inhabitants to so large a Body, and in every Manner provided for their Reception, when we see even a Leaf to be a World to Millions? No Man of Reason can and if we allow this, we must likewise allow that all the Planets are inhabited.
As this Discourse of Mr. Thompson's was very entertaining, we desired his Opinion of the fixed Stars, and he was so kind to proceed as follows.
The fixed Stars are at so immense and, wonderful a Distance, that all that can with Certainty be known concerning them, is that they are luminous Bodies, borrowing Light from none, but shining with their own. That their Magnitude is equal to, or exceeds that of the Sun. From this may be inferred (and it cannot well be doubted) that each of them is a Sun, the Centre of their respective Systems, with Planets revolving round them and inhabited, to which they give Light and Heat, and all the other Blessings that we receive from ours on Earth. But their Distance is so great that their Planets are not to be discovered by the best of Glasses: neither will the very best that ever were made, cause any sensible Alteration in the nearest of the fixed Stars, that is, not magnify them in the least; their Distance from us being so astonishingly great. And an Inhabitant in one of the Planets belonging to the nearest of them, would only see our Sun, as a little twinkling Star in the Firmament; but any other Part of the planetary System would be invisible to them. Nay, to some of them the whole Space formed in the Orbit of Saturn being above two thousand one hundred Million of Miles in Circumference, would not be visible at all, or at most as a Point.
I imagine we make no Doubt but that the Planets are Worlds and inhabited, especially as they are of so stupendous a Size, and furnished with every Necessary for Life; when we see that the minutest Thing that can be conceived is a World to Thousands. It is said that there are more living Creatures about the Leviathan, which are invisible to the naked Eye, than there are visible ones upon the Face of the whole Earth. Nay, a Microscope discovers a Louse to be a very lousy Creature: A Flea has a thousand invisible Insects that teaze him as he jumps from Place to Place, and no doubt but those which teaze him, are served in the same Manner by Thousands of others on their Bodies, and so on ad infinitum.
Before I left the Earth an Accident of a very extraordinary Nature happened to me, since when I have made no doubt but that the Air is inhabited. But as I fear I have already too far intruded upon the Patience of the Company; and as the Particulars are pretty long, I will defer the Relation till another Opportunity.
The whole Company returned him Thanks for his entertaining Discourse, and begged he would be pleased to acquaint them, with the Nature of the Accident that he had mentioned. He was so kind to insist on our dining with him the next Day, and on that Condition he promised to satisfy our Curiosity.
We were very agreeably entertain'd by Mr. Thompson the Remainder of the Day, and indeed he was a very worthy Person. As he came to this World when he was very young, he had acquired all the Perfections of its Inhabitants, without retaining any of the Vices of that he had left.
We promised to wait on him the next Day, and retired to our respective Homes.
We dine with Mr. Thompson. The History of an Inhabitant of the Air.
THE next Day at Dinner Time, my Companion and I went to Mr.
Thompson's; we found the Emperor and the rest of the
Company already come, who receiv'd us very obligingly, and Mr.
Thompson (though in his hundred and thirtieth Year) was as
gay and chearful as a Man at thirty. As soon as Dinner was over,
we put him in Mind of his Promise, and declared our Impatience to
know those Particulars, that had occasioned his believing the Air
to be inhabited; he was so kind to comply with our Request, and
began as follows:
It is well known to the whole Company that Chance threw me upon this Globe when I was about thirty Years of Age, since which Time I have lived amongst these good People, with as much Happiness as Mortal can enjoy. And as the Time of my arriving happened before the Order was made, which obliges an Inhabitant of the Earth to continue no longer here than a Year, I hope I shall live and die amongst them.
In regard to the Particulars you want to be acquainted with, relating to my Reasons for believing the Air to be inhabited, I will shew the Manuscript that one of those Aerial Spirits wrote himself: but first it will be necessary to give you an Account how I came by it.
It had ever been my Opinion, that all the heavenly Bodies were Worlds, and inhabited like ours.
I was likewise inclined to believe that the Soul, when, disincumbered of the Body, existed, and was more or less in a Degree of superior Perfection, to what it was in when confined within a Lump of Clay.
As I was one Night sitting in my Study revolving these Thoughts to myself, I perceived a most charming and agreeable Person sitting in a Chair directly opposite mine. I was much alarmed at the Thing, as I was certain that the Door had never opened, neither was there any one in the Study before I enter'd.
I was going to speak, when he accosted me in the most obliging Manner, and as there appeared so much Goodness and Sweetness in his Aspect, my Spirits were recruited, and the Terror I had been in left me.
I am, said he, a good Genius, one of those aerial Spirits, that traverse the Regions of unbounded Space, to guard and watch over the Actions of Mankind, and to combat with and for the most part overcome, those Demons, Enemies to them that are eternally endeavouring to bring their Souls and Bodies to Destruction. They are constantly, with the utmost Assiduity, instilling wicked and pernicious Principles into the Minds of Men; but as they cannot do this without our Knowledge, we take Care to guard them against their evil Designs, by setting forth in their Minds the dangerous Consequences of pursuing what is wrong.
That which every one feels in his Breast after doing a bad Thing, is what we occasion; and if Men were, before they undertook any Thing, only to consult their Reason, they would not so often err, for we always take Care to tell them what is, and what not right: but if, contrary to our Advice, they will follow the Bent of their own Inclinations, we punish them for it, by causing all those goading and uneasy Reflections, that occur to their Minds after doing Evil; and this we do to alarm them against a Repetition of the same Indiscretions.
This has been my Employment for several Years. But as I have gone through various Changes, before I arrived at this Degree of Perfection which I am now in, I will give you a brief Account of them. I have long known your Curiosity to be acquainted with these Affairs, and as far as I am permitted I will satisfy it, my Time does now allow me to relate them to you; but to-morrow as soon as you enter your Study, you shall find my History wrote down and left upon that Table. So saying he instantly disappeared. And the next Morning, upon entering my Closet, I found this Account which I have now in my Hand lying upon my Table. I have carefully preserved it ever since, and I am sure it must be his writing, as I took particular Care that no one could get into my Closet. So saying, Mr. Thompson was pleased to read it to the Company; and I obtained a Copy, with which I here present my Readers.
The History of an Inhabitant of the Air.
I WAS born in the Planet Jupiter, about four thousand
Years ago. The Station of Life I was there in, was very great;
for I was eldest Son of one of the greatest Monarchs in that
World. My Father's Dominions were computed at near one Quarter of
that vast Globe, and he was in the Prime of Life, being at the
Time of my Birth about seven hundred Years of Age, equal to
forty-five with you.
When I was twenty Years old (I mean twenty of their Years; each of which is equal to fifteen of yours) my Father married me to a Daughter of one of the greatest Persons about his Court. She was perfectly beautiful, and the Charms of her Mind, if possible, exceeded those of her Person.
Her Feathers were composed of all the beautiful Colours of the Rainbow, her Eyes sparkled like Diamonds, and the Beauty of the Plume that adorned her Head, exceeded any Thing you can conceive. Her Legs and Feet resembled burnished Gold, and her Talons the finest polished Silver; her Tail, which was at least ten Yards long, was composed of Feathers of most exquisite Variety, and her Height was every way proportionable. Nothing could be more ravishing than to behold this beautiful Person, with her Wings expanded, cutting the ambient Air, with a Grace and Majesty that surpassed all human Conceptions. But I forgot to tell you that what have been describing was not a Woman, but a Bird, as are all the Inhabitants of Jupiter; and the State of Perfection they are in, as far as exceeds that of an Inhabitant of the Earth, as the Magnitude of their World does that of yours in Proportion. There is no Sickness known amongst them, or any of those Multitude of Disorders to which Mankind are subject: And it was my own Fault that I ever felt them myself; for had it not been for the Crimes I was guilty of in that happy Planet, in all likelihood I should never have been an Inhabitant of the Earth. But more of that hereafter.
By this beautiful Person I soon had several Children; but, it is necessary to observe, that the Children in this Country do not labour under all those Inconveniencies, before they arrive at the Age of Maturity, as yours do, neither do the Mothers undergo the Hardships of Childbearing. The Child, soon after its Birth, is at his full Growth and Perfection of Body and Mind.
Hunger and Thirst the Inhabitants are Strangers to, nor have they one Imperfection to which earthly Mortals are subject. In short, they, of all other Beings that are subject to Mortality, arrive the nearest to that pure and happy State, enjoy'd by us that are Spirits, and next in Degree to the Angels.
They have none of the Wants and Necessities, that are both common and natural to the Inhabitants of your World, and the only Passion they know, is that which is ordained by Providence to keep up the Species. They never eat or drink, the Air is their only Sustenance, therefore they are not liable to those Inconveniencies, to which Beings of a grosser Make are exposed, and which are designed as Punishments for your Sins in a former State.
For all of ye (that is the immortal Part) tho' you have no Remembrance of it at present, have been in one; and the Pains, Cares, Anxieties and Infirmities that are annexed to that you are now in, are inflicted as Punishments for your Transgressions formerly and perhaps in another World. This that you are upon is a Place of Torment, tho' not in the highest Degree, for none of you know what perfect Happiness is. But to return, I was happy now beyond Conception, blessed with a Wife, the most beautiful of her Sex, and several fine Children: But e'er I had been long in this charming Situation, a Design came into my Head, the perpetrating of which has occasioned me to undergo, in different Shapes and Worlds, the greatest Hardships for my unnatural Crimes.
The Love I had for my Wife, would not allow me to bear a Superior to herself (for my Mother was then living) in my Father's vast Dominions; and I came to the dreadful Resolution, of murdering him, that I might at once become Emperor myself, and make my beloved Wife a Queen. My Intentions I kept unknown to her, for had she been made acquainted with them, I am certain she would, by some Means of other, have prevented my putting them in Execution.
I must observe to you, that the Inhabitants of Jupiter have all of them the Power of visiting their Satellites, or what you call Moons, of which there are four in Number, but the Inhabitants of them cannot visit the Planet Jupiter. They are all inhabited, and are subject to one or other of the Sovereigns of this great World. My Father had large Dominions in one of these Colonies (for so they may be called) and I took the Opportunity of his one Time going a Journey thither, to put my horrid Design in Execution. I thought it the most favourable one I could take, as I might there murder him, and none of the Inhabitants could come to our World, to give an Account of it. Accordingly the Time of his Departure being come, we set out together unattended, and none in Company but ourselves.
We soon arriv'd at our Journey's End, for the Inhabitants of Jupiter have it in their Power to travel at a prodigious Rate. And upon our landing I struck my Beak into my Father's Heart, and with the Help of my Talons I presently put an End to his Life.
As soon as I had perpetrated this wicked Action, I returned to my own World again, and left him weltering in his Blood.
I reported to his Subjects, that my Father had determin'd to continue for a considerable Time in his foreign Dominions, and had order'd me to take the Government of his vast Empire upon myself, until his Return. I was accordingly invested with the supreme Authority, and as soon as I had got the Power into my Hands, I issued out an Order, forbidding, under Pain of Death, any of my Subjects to visit the Satellites; and this I did in order to prevent a Discovery.
I was now raised to the Height of my Ambition, I had got the Government into my Hands, and at the same Time made my beloved Wife a Queen. But this Happiness I did not enjoy long; I soon began to reflect on the horrid Crime I had been guilty of, and I had not one Moment's Comfort.
The Thoughts of it tormented me to the highest Degree, and Night and Day I was continually tortur'd with the Horrors of a guilty Conscience. I began to hate my Wife, and looked upon her (tho' innocent) as the Occasion of my horrid Parricide, especially as it was through the Love I bore her, that I had been guilty of it. My Hatred for her encreased every Moment, and at last I could not bear the Sight of her, and came to a Resolution of making her a Sacrifice to appease the Shade of my murdered Father.
I had no sooner come to this Resolution than I put it in Practice, and murdered my once beloved and innocent Wife.
Now the Tortures that had long possessed my Breast, broke out with double Fury, and I was without Dispute the most unhappy Creature breathing. I became odious to my Subjects and myself; I lingered out a long and wretched Life, and at last died miserable at sixty Years of Age, which is about nine Hundred of yours.
The immortal Part of me instantly took Possession of one of the Bodies, that are destin'd to inhabit those Worlds, that amongst you are known by the Name of Comets. These are Places design'd to punish, for a certain Period, those who have been guilty of the greatest Crimes in a former State. And surely nothing can be better calculated for Places of Punishment than they are, nor could any one for his Offences better deserve them, than myself.
In this Region of Heat and Cold, I continued two thousand Years, at one Time a thousand times hotter than red-hot Iron, and at another, as much colder than the frozen Ice.
Here I saw many of those despotic Tyrants, who in a former State had butchered their Subjects, for their Amusement, and trampled upon the Laws and Liberties of their People, which they had swore to protect them in.
Those who formerly had reckoned themselves amongst the immortal Gods, and obliged their infatuated Subjects to worship them as such, crawling on all four in a World of Miseries, in the Shape of that Monster they resembled most in Nature and Disposition, when in an human Shape.
The Ministers that had sacrificed their Kings and Fellow-Subjects to their own Ambition, and who formerly, swelled with Pride and Arrogance, had robbed and plundered the People, and brought Poverty and Desolation upon a once rich and flourishing Country, to feed their own Luxury, were there in great Numbers, and most of them in the Shape of Toads, swelling with Pride, yet loathed and detested even by the wretched Inhabitants of those unhappy Worlds. For the Comets, as I have before observed, are all intended, for a certain Period, to be Places of Punishment to those that by their Crimes in former State have deserv'd it, and they are all in the Shape of that Beast they most resembled in Nature and Temper at that Time.
But the Professions that swarmed most in the Comet I was in, were Priests and Lawyers; they were in a very great Abundance, and in the Shapes of the most horrid and loathsome Beasts, retaining their proud tyrannic Inclinations, but not the Power or Ability to put them in Force.
Here the mitter'd Tyrant, who formerly wallowed in every vicious Indulgence, lustful as a Goat, and pampered like a Goose for a great Man's Table, grovels in the Dirt and Mire on four Legs, sweeping the Ground with his puffed-out Paunch in the Shape of a Hog, or some other beastly Creature. The Spruce powdered Prig, who was more attentive to his Dress, than the Cure of Souls committed to his Charge; and the brawney Priest, whose sole Employment consisted in deflowering Virgins, and satisfying every luxurious Appetite; who instead of following his Duty, and the Example of those he pretended to be a Successor to, in visiting and assisting the Sick and Needy; he who instead of copying after the Meekness and Humility of his great Master, was swell'd and puffed up with Pride and Arrogance, and would not have quitted his Pipe and Bottle for the Salvation of all Mankind, and instead of having Charity for the whole World, would sacrifice their Souls and Bodies to his own Ambition; of these there are great Numbers, and in the most horrid and detestable Shapes. But I must observe, that those of the Persuasion of the triple-crowned Monarch are in the greatest Numbers, and there is hardly one of them, after quitting the Earth, but becomes an Inhabitant of these dismal Regions.
Here the proud Lawyer, who in your World took Care to throw off all the idle Prejudices of Humanity, and who brought himself to that Pitch of Bravery and Resolution, as to delight in the Sufferings of his Fellow-Creatures: who had more Pleasure in dragging a Husband from his big-bellied Wife and helpless Infants, to send him to a loathsome Dungeon, than the gaping Crowd have in the Pageantry of a Lord Mayor's Day: whose Ear was more delighted with the Cries of the hungry Mother and her starving Children, than with the most exquisite Musick: He whose chief Banquet consisted like a Leach in sucking the Blood of human Kind, and as a Shark to feed upon their Vitals.
He who formerly displayed his Talents, in holding forth upon and supporting a Cause which he knew in every Particular to be unjust; and by that Means had often the immense Pleasure of robbing many honest Families of their Right, and bringing them to Ruin and Beggary. He whose Conscience was always ready to be sold to the highest Bidder, and whose sole Delight was to plunder the Needy; of these there are, and always will be great Numbers, for hardly one escapes. Attorneys, Jaylors, Bailifs and their Followers, and all the other Underlings of the Law, swarm in these Worlds in prodigious Quantities. Besides, the Royal-Exchange, and the Frequenters of it, furnish them with great Numbers: But it is impossible to describe to you, the immense Shoals of Jews, and their friends and Allies, that arrive there yearly; there is hardly one of them since the Beginning of the World, but what after leaving the Earth has become an Inhabitant of one of the Comets, and all of them in the Shape of Swine, grovelling in the Dirt, and feeding on the Excrements of the filthy Inhabitants.
Courtiers and Flatterers are likewise there in great Numbers, and Beaux and Fops fill the Trees and Rocks, in the Shapes of chattering Monkies.
But you will think it very extraordinary, that there are very few of those unhappy Women, who having been decoy'd and ruined by the fair Promises of those Men, who make it their Business and carry on a Trade of debauching innocent Wenches, and then deserting them; by which Means they are reduced to get their Livelihood by a Way of Life too shocking to mention. No; few of them are there, but their vile Undoers in the Shape of Goats are in great Numbers; and very justly, for they undoubtedly are answerable for all the Sins those unhappy Creatures commit, by lift'ning to their artful and designing Lies. But on the contrary, those Fair-ones, who had no Occasion to prostitute themselves, and were only guided by a lustful Disposition, swarm here in the Shape of Water-Wagtails.
Misers, and all those who in an earthly State were deaf to the Cries and Miseries of their Fellow-Creatures, abound in great Quantities.
There are likewise many in these Worlds of Punishment, that belonged to other Planets; but as you would be a Stranger to the Nature of their Offences, being unacquainted with the Manners and Customs of those planetary Inhabitants, I have confined myself to an Account of them that formerly inhabited the World that you are upon, and which was the last that I belonged to in a mortal State.
As I myself was confined to one of these Worlds for the most heinous Crime that could be committed, as I have already told you; I doubt not but you will be desirous of knowing, what my Station was during my Imprisonment in a Comet. In short I was a Serpent, and in that wretched Shape I licked the Dust, and dragged on a tedious and miserable Life for two thousand Years: at the End of which very luckily had my Head crush'd to Pieces, by the Foot of an Horse who came galloping over me, and who formerly had been a famous Country Squire and Fox-Hunter in the West of England. The Instant this lucky Accident happen'd, I became an Inhabitant of that comfortless Region known amongst you by the Name of the Planet Saturn.
The Hardships I had endured in the Comet had not aton'd for the Crimes I had been guilty of in Jupiter; however, the Severity of my Situation there, was much superior to what it was now that I was become a Saturnian.
By Reason of the immense Distance of this Planet from the Sun, the Inhabitants receive little or no Benefit from him; and are, as it were, driven away from the comfortable and nourishing Influence of his Rays (which is felt by those whole Situations are nearer to him) and they are in almost a continued State of Cold and Darkness.
The Inhabitants are of the same Shape and Form as yourself, but of a gygantic Size, which perhaps proceeds from the Coldness of the Climate they are in; for you may observe, that in your World the farther you go North, the larger and stronger are the People.
They all go naked, and are the vilest and most abject Slaves in Nature. Their Kings, have an unbounded Power over them, which they exercise with the greatest Severity and Strictness.
I lived amongst these People five hundred Years, and then had the good Luck to be one of a vast Number, that the Emperor put to Death, in Honour of one of his Concubines, to whom he that Day gave an Entertainment.
My Situation now was altered greatly for the better, and the Instant that the immortal Part of me quitted its old Habitation, it instantly darted through that immense Space, that is comprehended between the Distance of Saturn and the Earth, and I immediately animated a Body, that my Mother, (who was an honest Miller's Wife in Yorkshire) was to bring forth, in about four Month's Time. Not liking my Prison, I kick'd and sprawl'd, and used every Method in my Power to get clear of it, but all in vain; I was obliged to stay out my Time, and at last appeared in the Midwife's Arms a stout lusty Boy, to the great Joy of my Parents, as I was the first they ever had.
My Mother, who was much superior in Birth and Education to my Father, having been second Dresser to a Lady of Quality in the Neighbourhood, could not bear to have me brought up to my Father's mean Profession: and when I was about seven Years old, instead of helping him in his Business, I was kept at home, and proper Persons attended to teach me to write and read; I likewise had a drawing, a dancing and a music Master; so that by the Time I was fourteen, I was reckoned one of the compleatest young Fellows in the County. This Proceeding of my Mother gave my Father a great deal of Uneasiness, as it run away with all the Money that he could possibly earn by his Care and Industry; but however, he very seldom durst speak to her about it; for whenever he began to expostulate, and represent how inconsistent such an Education was with my Birth, and that, instead of Dancing and Capering, I ought to be brought up to carry his Sacks, and assist him at his Business; she always cut him short, by representing to him, that surely she knew best how to bring up her own Child, who had had so good an Education herself; and that it was very impertinent in such a Mechanic as him to interfere with her Affairs; and desired him to remember what an Honour it was to him, to have married a Person of her Family (I imagine, meaning the Family she had been Servant in, for her Father cry'd Apples about the Streets in a Wheelbarrow, and her Mother was an Oyster Woman). She likewise put him in Mind of the Fortune she brought him; for she had twenty Pounds, but it was suspected that her Lady's Wearing Apparel had been made free with to raise that Sum, for which she lost her Place, and had like to have been transported into the Bargain. These Rebukes were sometimes attended with a Stool or Candlestick being flung at his Head: So in short the poor Man let her take her own Way, and seldom contradicted her.
I was now come to the Age of seventeen, and having little or nothing to do with myself, I went frequently to a public House hard by to read the News Papers, which were regularly sent from Town. In this manner I loitered away my Time, 'till I was near twenty Years of Age, when I began to be weary of so retired a Life: and my Ambition told me, if I was to go to London, my extraordinary Merit and Qualifications would make me a great Man.
As soon as I came to this Resolution, I waited the first Opportunity to put it in Practice, for I was very well assured my Mother would never consent to it; and presently as good a one offered, as I could have desired.
There was at this Time an Officer and Party of Men beating up for Recruits, about ten Miles from my Father's House, and I thought that the best and cheapest Way I could get to London, would be to enter amongst them. I did not doubt but I should soon rise to high Preferment, for without Vanity I may say that I was as handsome a young Fellow as any in the Kingdom. I therefore hasted away for the Place, without taking leave of Father or Mother, and no sooner had offered myself to the Officer, than I was accepted with Joy, and had likewise a Piece of Gold into the Bargain.
I now looked upon this as the first Step to the making my Fortune, and I had the Vanity to think I should live to be a General. The Regiment that I lifted into lay at that Time in London, and as we soon got our Number compleated, we sate out for that famous City. Upon our March thither, and before, I was used with the utmost Indulgence, but I soon perceived an Alteration upon our arriving in Town; for then we were all set to learn our Exercise, and the Serjeant frequently saluted my Back with an oaken Cudgel. I grew extreamly tired of the Hardships I underwent, and I verily believe had it not been for the following Adventure, that I should have deserted.
One Day, as we were at our Exercise, a Lady, with two Footmen following her, stopped to see our Performance. I perceived her fix her Eyes upon me for some Time, and then she beckoned with her Fan to the Serjeant, with whom she whispered for a good while. I observed that whilst they were talking, they often turned their Eyes towards me, which made me imagine that I was the Subject of their Discourse. As she went away, I over-heard her say to him, Be sure you remember—and put a Piece of Money into his Hand.
I never in my Life had seen so charming a Person; she seemed about thirty-five Years of Age, and I could plainly perceive by her Dress and Attendance, that she was a Woman of no small Quality. I must own that my Heart glowed in my Bosom, and I had the Vanity to think that their Conversation had not only been about me, but likewise in my Favour. I was greatly impatient to have our Exercise over, as I was in Hopes that then the Serjeant might say something to me, relating to their Discourse. At last the wished-for Time came, and as soon as he had dismissed us, he called to me, and said, he had something to say to me: I went to him with an eager Impatience, and he accosted me in this Manner: Tom, says he, this Day your Fortune's made, you'll soon be a great Man, and then I make do doubt but you'll forget all your old Acquaintance. As for my Part, 'tis true, I have often been obliged, against my Inclination, to exert my Authority upon you: But then consider, I did it for the Good of the Service, and not out of any Dislike t'ye; therefore I hope you'll forget and forgive. Indeed it's a Pity you should leave the Army, for I see enough in you to know that you would, with the Help of my Instructions, soon have risen to high Preferment: But never mind that, there's great Places out of the Army, and no doubt but you'll be well provided for. Many a footman has risen to be a great Man, and I make no doubt but you'll live to be as great as any of them.—But you'll forget me.—However, I hope you'll pardon those Drubbings I have been obliged to give you, for it was for the Good of the Service, and to make you a great Man.
This Harangue greatly excited my Curiosity, and I begged he would let me know the Meaning of it. Oh! ay, says he, that's true, I had forgot: Why you must know, that the Lady you saw talking to me, is Wife to a very great Man, who has more Interest than any body about Court: and if you like it, she is desirous of making you one of her Footmen, and in Time you may rise to be her Gentleman. She bid me speak to you about it, and if you, approved of it, to speak to the Captain to wait on her about your Discharge; and it will be a good Thing, for him too; for to be sure she'll spare no Money, and he'll ask enough I warrant him. Now Tom, what say ye, will you be a Gentleman, or continue to toss about a Firelock?
I was not long in coming to a Resolution, but told him that my Determination was, to serve the Lady, and quit the Service. Well then, says he, I'll set about it this Instant, and go to the Captain, and acquaint him with the News. And so we parted: But my Heart was too full, with the Thoughts of my good Luck, to suffer me either to eat or drink, and I made no Doubt but I should live to to be a great Man.
In the Afternoon when we came to our Exercise, the Serjeant came up to me and said; Mr. Thomas, you don't need to give yourself any Trouble, I shall excuse you your Duty to-day, and to-morrow Morning you must wait on the Captain; he has been with the Lady, and has something to say to you. Your Business is done, and I hope you won't forget old Friends: So saying, he fell to work with the poor Devils that were not so lucky as myself; and I took a serious Walk, meditating on my present Situation.
The next Morning I waited on the Captain; as soon as I entered his Apartment, he said, Tom, you are now a Freeman, there is your Discharge signed by the Colonel; and you must immediately go to Sir —— ——'s, where you will be received into the Family as a Servant. I wish you Success, and take care to behave as you ought.
I most humbly thanked him for his Goodness, and went directly to Sir ——'s.
As soon as I knocked at the Door the Porter opened it, and upon seeing me in my Regimentals, asked me if my Name was not Tom Atkins? Upon my answering, in the Affirmative, he conduced me into the Servant's Hall, where I was regaled with cold Surloin of Beef, and a Cup of good strong Beer. I was then introduced to the Steward, who after expatiating greatly upon the Virtue and Piety of his Lady, and the Happiness I might promise myself in being in so good a Family, and exhorting me to behave in such a Manner as to deserve the Favour that was shewn me; ordered me a Livery which was taken out of the Wardrobe, and fitted me exactly.
I shall now give some Account, of the Family I was in. Sir—— was a little short mean-looking Creature as ever was seen, and his Intellects corresponded exactly with his Person. He was next Door to a downright Driveler. His Lady was one of the finest Women of the Age, tall well shaped, and in every Particular a compleat Beauty. She was looked upon by every Body as a Pattern of Virtue and Piety, especially for her Constancy to so disagreeable an Idiot; for besides his shocking Person, etc. Nature had rendered him incapable of enjoying those Charms of which my Lady was Mistress.
He had the Desire as strong as Man could have, But wanted the Ability: a Curse that surely does not far fall short of the Tortures endured by a Comet Inhabitant. And the only Method he had of allaying his strong Desires, was by teizing of her, and sometimes crawling like a Dog on all four, and licking her Spittle.
This good Lady, for the Edification of her Mind, kept always four brawney Chaplains in her House, who took it Turn about Morning and Night to attend her at her private Devotions in her Chamber; for she never missed praying twice a Day, which gained her the Character all over the Kingdom of being one of the most pious and virtuous Ladies in it.
At Dinner-time I was directed to carry one of the many Dishes that made the first Course, and to wait at Table. My Lady was pleased to tell me, that she hoped I should not deceive her in her Expectations; that if I behaved with Diligence, Virtue and Piety, I might depend upon making my Fortune, and that she would immediately take me to herself in Quality of one of her Footmen. For she had two, and at this Time there was a Vacancy. I returned her Ladyship Thanks for her great Goodness, and told her that I should always look upon the performing my Duty, in the Station she had been pleased to place me, as my particular Care, and hoped I should never forget that which was due to my Creator. She seemed pleased with my Answer, and sat down to Table.
I observed during the whole Time of Dinner that she kept her Eyes fixed upon me, and sometimes cast Glances that I thought were not altogether consistent with that Decency and Chastity that she was reckoned Mistress of. When the second Course was brought in, my Master jumped up all of a sudden, threw himself upon his Hands and Knees, and began to crawl under the Table like a Dog. He presently placed himself by my Lady's Chair, and she stroaked him and made much of him, as she would do a Lap-dog. She then picked the Bone of a Chicken, and threw it down to him; he received it with great Eagerness, and began to knaw it. Then she chewed a Bit of Meat, and spit it out of her Mouth upon the Ground, which he devoured with a greedy Appetite. In short, he played so many ridiculous Tricks, that it was as much as ever I could do to keep myself from bursting out a laughing. But all the Attendance looked extremely demure; and I believe nothing on Earth could have moved the visible Muscles of the Chaplain who sat at the Bottom of the Table, stuffing his Paunch with Victuals sufficient to have satisfied a moderate Family.
Presently Dinner was over, to my great Joy, and the Head-Servants retired to theirs in their own Apartment, and we Party-coloured Gentry went into the Servants Hall for the same Purpose; where we, and the under Maid-servants dined together.
My Ears were regaled during the whole Dinner-time, with the Praises and Commendations of my Lady; and, indeed, by their Accounts, she was the greatest Pattern of Virtue that ever existed. When Dinner was over, we retired to the great Hall; where we attended to receive in Form any Visitors that should wait on my Master or Lady. Whilst we were there, the Chaplain came through, in Order to take a Walk, and digest the Load of Victuals, that he had crammed into his Guts at Dinner.
As he passed to the Street-door, he cast a most contemptible Look at me; and I overheard him say, I wonder my Lady could take such a Wretch into her Family, I never saw so aukward a Fellow in my Life. I had a great Desire to have answered his Compliment. However, I thought at that Time, Silence was the best Policy.
A vast many People of Fashion came to pay their Respects to my Lady, and all that we had to do was to make a Lane for them to pass through. After this Ceremony was over, I had nothing else to do (except waiting at Supper) till Bed-time. I was ordered to lie with one of my Fellow-Servants, who, whilst we were undressing, accosted me in this Manner.
Tom, says he, you have heard all the fine Commendations that have been given my Lady by her Servants, they really speak as they think; but as I am better acquainted with her Ladyship's Disposition, I can assure you, that she is the very reverse of what they represent her; in short, she is the most abandoned, lustful Wretch, that ever lived.
She keeps four Chaplains, as she would have believed, to direct her in the right Path to Heaven; but God knows, their only Business is to send her Soul to Hell. She keeps them only to satisfy her insatiable Lust, and at the Hours that she pretends to be at Prayers, she is acting, with her ghostly Guide such Scenes of Lewdness, as would mak your Hair stand on End. And even these brawny backed Lechers are not able to satisfy her unbounded Desires; but she has likewise several Houses, where she meets her Gallants at every Hour, both Day and Night.
For my own Part, I have lived with her near a Twelvemonth, and have myself been obliged to do so much of her Drudgery, that I am almost worked off my Legs; indeed she is a fine Woman, and at first I thought myself happy in the Possession of her, but too much Pudding—you know my Meaning Tom.—Well, nobody knows any Thing of these Proceedings but myself and the Chaplains, and each of them, I believe, thinks himself the only happy Man; and it would be as much as our Lives were worth to divulge any of her Transactions: But to you, Tom, I have not made a Secret of the Matter; for by Circumstances, I am sure that you are hired for the same Purpose.
I can give you ocular Demonstration of the Truth of what I have told you, and will place you to-morrow, when she pretends to be at Prayers, in such a Situation, that you may see all, and not be seen yourself.
I thank'd him for his Information, expressed my Surprize at her Hypocrisy, and we went to Bed. Before we went to Sleep, my Companion said, I had forgot, Tom, to mention to you the contemptible Look that the Chaplain gave you, and the Words that he let drop as he went through the Hall; this proceeded from Jealousy, as he had perceived my Lady to take more than common Notice of you at Dinner; for to be sure you are a much handsomer Man than he is.
I told him I had taken Notice of both his Look and Words, and had a great Mind to have given him a proper Answer to the latter. Well, says he, 'tis well you did not, 'tis dangerous meddling with Edge-tools, and you may as well have to do with the Devil as a Parson.
In the Morning it was my Business and my Bedfellow's, to attend under two Gentlemen out of Livery at my Lady's Breakfast; during which she cast so many wishful Looks at me, that I really was quite out of Countenance; and with what I had heard of her Character, instead of appearing the beautiful Person she had done the Day before, she looked in my Eyes like a monstrous Harpy.
However, I kept my Thoughts to myself, and performed my Duty to the Approbation of my Lady, who was pleased to compliment me upon it.
When Breakfast was over we went to the Servants Hall, where we found our Fellow-Servants waiting for us, and presently the under Cook-Maid brought in a savoury Dish of hashed Mutton, which was followed by a cold Surloin of Beef, and a Veal-pye. We sat down together, and made a very hearty Repast. A little after we had done, Notice was given that my Lady was going to Prayers; my Bedfellow gave me the Wink, and I followed him. He led me up a Pair of Back-Stairs, through a long Passage, at the End of which was a dark Closet. He unlocked the door, went in, and I followed him, and we shut the Door close after us.
This Closet joined to my Lady's Bed-chamber, and as there was only a thin Board Partition, we could hear every Word that was said; there was likewise a large Crevice, through which, notwithstanding the Tapestry on the opposite Side, we could see over the whole Room; for my Fellow-servant had formerly very dexterously made a little Hole in it, so that by putting one's Eye close to the Crevice, one could see every Thing that was transacted in the Chamber.
I clapped my Eye to it, and saw my Lady walking about in a loose white Sattin Gown, waiting for her ghostly Father. There was in the middle of the Room, a Table covered with Crimson Velvet, fringed with Gold; upon the Ground was a Cushion of the same. Upon the Table was a large Prayer-Book, bound in Morocco, and Curiously gilt; with a gold Crucifix standing by it adorned with precious Stones.
Presently entered the Lump of Iniquity under the Disguise of Religion, with a solemn Face, and pronouncing these Words, Peace be to this House, and all that dwell therein. He immediately secured the Door, and running to my Lady, clasped her in his Arms; and she most ardently returned the Embrace. This was followed by such Scenes of Lewdness, that cannot be permitted to defile this Paper with a Description of them.
All the Accounts that you have read in History of the insatiable Lust of the noted Messalina, fall short of what I was an Eye-witness to in my pious and virtuous Lady. The Prayer-book and Crucifix were thrown aside, and every Part of the Room was a Proof of her Lewdness.
In short, it lasted a full Hour, and though the Sight was nauseous, I was determined to see the End of it. At last, this horrid Scene of Prostitution ended, and the pious Mender of Souls was hardly able to crawl; the Crucifix and Prayer-Book were put again upon the Table, and the devout Hypocrite left the Room; When the Door was opened, he pronounced his Benediction aloud, and went down Stairs counting his Beads, and crossing himself at every Step.
I continued a little longer at the Hole, to see how my Lady behaved after her spiritual Recreation. She threw herself upon the Bed, stretched herself out, and with a deep Sigh cryed, Oh! my dear Tom! thou, and thou only, can make me happy. This Ejaculation greatly alarmed me and my Companion (who likewise heard it) observed to me, that there was more than Conjecture in what he had told me the Night before, viz. That I was taken into the Service for the same Purpose.
We left the Closet softly, locked the Door after us, and went down to our Fellow-Servants; for my own Part sufficiently shocked with the monstrous Scene I had been Witness to.
We had not been below an Hour before my Lady's Bell rung: One of the Gentlemen out of Livery went up, and presently came down and told me, that my Lady wanted me above, to send me on some Messages to the Ladies of her Acquaintance.
I immediately went up, and as soon as I came into the Room, my Lady ordered me to shut the Door. Come here Tom, says she, if you don't stand in your own Light, I intend to make your Fortune. When I saw you at your Exercise, I could not help being struck with your Person, and instantly set about getting your Discharge, and taking you into my Service; this I have done, and hope you will deserve my Favour. I told her there was nothing her Ladyship could order me, that was consistent with my Duty to my Master and herself, but what I would with Readiness and Chearfulness perform.
But, says she, Tom, do you think you could not perform my Orders, though they might seem to clash with your Master's Interest? I told her that I had heard so much of her Virtue and Piety, that I was well assured that she could desire nothing that was inconsistent with his Interest.
Well, but come nearer, says she, and with a deep Sigh, and a Look that might have stirred an Anchorite, she gently tapped my Cheek, and said, I shall ask nothing of you but what will be greatly for your Master's Advantage, and what at the same Time cannot help being beneficial to yourself. I told her, that my own Interest would be the last Thing that I should consider in the Performance of my Duty; for that, and that only, would be always a sufficient Recompence for me to do it.
But, says she, Tom, suppose what I have to desire of you would be the Means of making both your Master and me the happiest People on Earth; then should you have any Objection to a Compliance?
I told her that I should be very glad if any poor Service that I could do, might contribute to their Happiness; but I thought it was already so compleat, that nothing in my Power could be capable of making any Addition to it. You are mistaken, Tom, says she; though we have every thing almost that this World can afford, yet we are miserable—We want a Son—At these Words she hid her Face with her Fan; she seemed to struggle to get out more, and at last she continued: Tom, we want a Son, and you know your Master's Incapacity: if we die without one, the Title and Estate, which has been several hundred Years in the Family, will go to distant Relations. Years have I been married to him, and am now the same Virgin I was when I first came to his Arms.
In the uttering these Words she seemed to be in vast Confusion: but the Scene I had lately beheld, together with this Speech, raised my Indignation to such a Degree that I was very near upbraiding her with her Perfidy. However, I told her, that though they had not yet been blessed with a Child, they had both Youth enough on their Side, and might live to have several, for which I would most fervently offer up my Prayers to Heaven.
Since Tom, says she, you are so cruelly blind as not to see my Meaning, and to spare me the disagreeable Necessity of explaining myself; I must, though Modesty forbids it, declare to you that I have for a long Time been looking out for a proper Person to pitch upon, to supply the Inability of my Husband. At this Instant I never knew what Man was, neither did I ever know what it was to have the Inclination. This Declaration proceeds from downright Necessity, and I have fixed upon you, spare my Modesty in saying any more, I have said enough, and will have no Reply. I have consulted my Confessor, he approves of it, and from him I can have Absolution. With these Words she sunk gently into my Arms.
Though she had as much Beauty as Man could desire, and I myself was at that Age when it has the greatest Power over us; yet the beastly Scene I had been Witness to, and the Character I had heard of her, made her appear in my Eyes with all the Horrors of a Gorgon.
She raised her Head, and looking languishingly in my Face said, Surely, Tom I need say no more, Opportunity now offers, and the most favourable one that perhaps we shall ever have: Sir—is abroad, and no one dares approach my Chamber without Orders.
Madam, says I, the high Veneration I have both for my Master and your Ladyship, and the great Opinion I had conceived of your Virtue and Piety, make this Proposal not only surprize but shock me: I must therefore entreat you, Madam, not to insist on my injuring my Master in the most tender Point; for, notwithstanding the Profusion of Charms with which Heaven has blessed you, I can look upon them with the greatest Indifference, when my Duty is concerned: Therefore, Madam, permit me to leave the Room, unless your Ladyship has any Commands of a different Nature to honour me with; and then I will convince you, Madam, that no Servant in your Family will execute them with greater Chearfulness than myself.
At these Words she cast such a Look at me as really frightened me, and ten thousand Arrows darted from her Eyes.
Be gone, vile Wretch, says she, who art Fool enough to refuse an Honour that Princes would be proud of. But know, low-lifed Monster, that thou shalt dearly repent thy misplaced Scrupulousness. So saying she turned from me with Rage and Fury, and I respectfully left the Room.
When I got down Stairs, my Mind was agitated with ten thousand perplexing Thoughts. I most heartily wished that I had not quitted my Firelock to become a Gentleman; for I was very sensible how far a Woman can carry her Resentment, when both her Love and Beauty are slighted. My Confusion could not help being seen by the rest of the Servants, but the Occasion of it was only known to my Bedfellow, whose Name was Jack Turner, as good-natured a Lad as could be. He took the first Opportunity of being alone with me, and I told him all that had passed.
He said it was what he expected, but, says he, I am sorry your Modesty got the better of your Discretion; for, depend upon it, you'll suffer dearly for it. Poor Will Jackson, who was formerly in the same Place you are in now, paid sufficiently for his over Modesty; he did not only lose his Place, but I am afraid his Life into the Bargain: for the Night he was turned off, he was found murdered; and as for me, who knew the Reason of his being turned away, I cannot but think that she, and her diabolical Priests, had a Hand in his Death, to prevent his telling. And to be sure, a Woman and a Parson can outdo the Devil himself in Iniquity.
I told him I did not care what I suffered; for, whilst I did my Duty, and carried an honest Confidence, I defied the worst that could happen: but, continued I, the Esteem I have for my Lady, not withstanding her Faults, is so great, that rather than betray her, I would even smile at the Agonies of the most tormenting Death that could be inflicted. Ay, says he, that is saying something; for, though she is no better than she should be, yet she is a fine Woman, and it would be a Pity to hurt her: and perhaps if our Master was a Man as he should be, she might have been as honest as the best; but it is hard for such an one as she, to lie Nights after Nights, and in the Prime of Youth and Beauty, without tasting the Joys of them—But then to be sure she might not have been quite so common, and (looking at his Legs) I think I might have been enough for her without those damned Priests. But as Matters are I am only made a Slave of, and what would otherwise have been a Pleasure, is now become a Drudgery; for you know, Tom, that the most agreeable Exercises, when our Duty obliges us to follow them, become cloying.
This incoherent Speech of my Friend's made me imagine that he liked his Office, but not to have Partakers in it. However, I found him truly honest to me, and we parted to go about our different Employments.
At Dinner-time, as soon as I came into the Parlour, my Lady looked upon me with the utmost Rage and Fury; however, she did not speak a Word; and my Master, to the foolish Tricks he had played the Day before, added some new ones. After he had taken his Place by my Lady's Chair and imitated a Dog, he layed himself upon his Belly, directly under her Feet, and she trod upon his Back like a Footstool. She happened to drop her Handkerchief, which he took up and sucked in his Mouth like a Sugar-Plumb; and it must have had a very agreeable Flavour; for besides her Ladyship's having a violent Cold at this Time, she took a good deal of Snuff; so he had both the Pepper and Vinegar. He played several other Tricks too foolish to mention, and as they cannot be for the Honour of the Human Species, I chuse to suppress them.
The Priest took Care to recruit the Spirits he had exhausted in my Lady's Service in the Morning, by stuffing his Paunch with as much Meat and Wine as would have served ten reasonable Stomachs. I was most heartily glad when all was over, and I went to my own Dinner amongst my Fellow-Servants.
About seven o'Clock at Night I was ordered to go up to my Lady. I immediately went to her Apartment, and upon my entering, she said, Tom I have once more sent for you to know if you still persist in standing in your own Light. You have it in your Power to be the happiest Man living; and if you are Fool enough to persevere in your Obstinacy, depend upon feeling all the Resentment that can be shewn by a slighted and injured Woman.
I told her my Resolution was the same it was in the Morning, and that all the racking Tortures that could be inflicted on me, would never make me alter it. I told her that I had too high a Respect both for my Master and her Ladyship, to think of doing a Thing, which in the End must inevitably occasion the greatest Uneasiness between them: that if it was her Ladyship's Pleasure, I would willingly return to my old Profession and quit her Service; and though it was an Employment I did not like, I would prefer it even to the Honour of waiting on her, when I found that that could not be done, without my departing from my Duty, not only to my Master, but to him to whom it was most due.
Her Rage and Passion were beyond Description; and she permitted me to leave the Room, by telling me I should dearly repent of my Obstinacy, and that I might depend on her carrying her Resentment to the very highest Pitch she was able; and that this was the last Opportunity I should ever have, of avoiding the Destruction that hung over my Head.
I began to be very uneasy about my Situation, as I did not know how it might end; but she soon put her Threats in Execution. I acquainted my trusty Bed-fellow with all that had passed, and he said, poor Tom, God send you may not share the Fate of poor Will Jackson; for, though I have known you but a little while, I love you like a Brother, and should he heartily sorry of any Harm coming to you.
At Night at Supper, my Lady mentioned to my Master, a Diamond Bracelet, that she had bought that Afternoon for a considerable Sum of Money; and upon his seeming desirous to see it, she said, Tom, do you go into my Dressing Room, and upon my Toilet you will see a small black Shagreen Cafe, bring it here. I immediately went up and brought it down; she opened it and took out a Diamond Bracelet of great Value. There were several Strangers at Supper, and she shewed it to them all round. It was greatly admired, and indeed it was the finest Thing I had ever seen.
When she had done, she gave it to me, and ordered me to lay it where I found it; I accordingly did, but little thought it would be so fatal to me, as it afterwards proved to be. I returned into the Parlour again, and when Supper was over, we went to our own, in the Servants Hall.
In the Morning as soon as I came down Stairs, I received an Order (that my Lady had left over Night) for me to go a Message about three Miles out of Town. I went, and as soon as I returned, I found the whole Family in a Confusion: The Bracelet was lost, and my Lady charged me with the Theft. My Fellow-Servants were all extreamly concerned; for though I had lived but a short Time amongst them, I had obtained as much of their Love and Affection as could be expected in so short a Time.
I was sent for by the Steward, who told me that the best Thing I could do, would be to own the Robbery: That my Lady was a Person of that unbounded Charity and Compassion, that I did not need to fear her Pardon. He was pleased to observe, that there could be no Doubt but that I had it, as it was intrusted to me to put in it's Place again, after I had brought it down by my Lady's Orders, and that this Morning when she looked for it, it was missing. I protested my Innocence in the strongest Manner I was able, but it had no Effect; the Circumstances were too strong against me, and the more I said, the more was he confirmed of my Guilt. He told me that he had Orders to carry me, as soon as I came in, before my Master and Lady, unless I made a Discovery. I told him that I was so well satisfied of my own Innocence, that I was not afraid to face them, or even any Court of Judicature in England. Ay says he, Tom, I am afraid that will be your Fate at last, unless you make a Confession, and do not continue obstinate; but if you do, I must obey my Orders, and go with you up Stairs.
Accordingly we went up together, where we found my Master and Lady. She affected an infinite Concern at my Infidelity, and was pleased to say, that she had conceived such an Opinion of my Honesty, that she could have trusted me with untold Gold. But, says she, Tom, own the Thing and it shall be bury'd in Oblivion; you must have it, and I hope you did not sell it or make away with it, when you was out this Morning. Ay, says my Master, do, Tom, own it, it will be better for you, and you cannot do a better Thing than trust to my Lady's Generosity, for as she says, to be sure you must have it.
I protested to my Lady, that I laid it in the very Place where I found it, and that I had not seen it since. Well, says she, then if you are so well assured of your Innocence, you can have no Objection to having your Trunks searched and examined. I told her that I had no Trunks of any Sort, having no Use for them; but that I had a small Deal Box, which if her Ladyship would permit me, I would fetch down and open it in her Presence. No, no, says she, Tom, that won't answer your Purpose, for I would have you clear yourself beyond a Doubt; and if you go yourself, it may cause a Suspicion, and (though you are innocent) it may be said, that you had locked it up in your Box, and had taken it out when you fetched it down Stairs. So, ill-natured Folks may still speak of it to your Dishonour. Upon that she rung the Bell, and a Servant out of Livery attended. Go, says she, to him, into the Room where Tom lies, and bring down his Box, and it shall be opened before us, and if the Bracelet is not there, the poor Lad will be publickly cleared from the Charge that is laid against him; for it would be cruel to have him branded with the Guilt, in case he is innocent.
Accordingly it was brought down; but, good God! what was my Surprize and Confusion when upon it's being opened, the Bracelet was found wrapped up in one of my dirty Stockings.
I then plainly saw that my Ruin was at Hand; the Circumstances were too strong against me, and none but my Lady, and one of her Hellish Priests, knew the Injury that was done me. For during the Time of my being out in the Morning, he, by her Directions, had gone into my Room, took off the Hinges of my Box, wrapped the Bracelet up in the Manner it was found, and nailed them on again.
Every one seemed certain of my Guilt, and all that I could say was not sufficient to make them alter their Opinion; and I found I was to fall a Sacrifice to my Lady's Resentment, for I plainly saw that this was all her Doings, in order to destroy me.
In short, I was carried before a Magistrate, who out of Regard to my Lady or his own Interest, I am sure not to Justice, would not give me Leave to speak one Word in my Defence, but granted a Warrant to commit me to Prison. A few Days afterwards I was brought to my Trial, the Circumstances appeared too plain against me, and the Judge stood too much in awe of my Lady's Influence and Power, to allow me to make use of any in my Favour. To come to a Conclusion; after a Trial of about five Minutes, he summed up the Evidence to the Jury, and very charitably told them (though they ought to have been the proper Judges themselves) that the Proofs were so strong against me, that he hoped they would not delay the Business of the Day, by going out of Court, to consult together, but unanimously bring me in Guilty: and they, after laying their Logger-Heads together about half a Minute, obeyed his Orders, and I receiv'd Sentence of Death.
It was not many Days after my Sentence (during which Time I was allowed to see no one) before it was put in Execution. I was carried to the fatal Tree through a Crowd of idle Spectators; and Jack Ketch having done his Office, my Body was given to the Surgeons; but that immortal Part, which cannot be hurt by the Malice of Mankind, soared like Lightning, and animated one of those happy Bodies that dwell in the Planet Mars.
This is a World filled with Heroes, Patriots and Lawgivers, and such as had formerly dy'd in their Country's Cause, or suffered an innocent and untimely Death, the latter of which was my Case. Here I had the Pleasure, of seeing and conversing with the greatest Heroes that ever your World produced, not impaired by Years, but still retaining the same noble and majestick Aspects they had before their Death; in Possession of a World, stored with every Blessing that Mortals can enjoy. Here every Shrub, Hedge and Tree, affords them the most exquisite exquisite Perfume, and every Brook and River the most delicious Draught. The airy Choiristers regale their Ears with the most enchanting Melody, and perpetual Spring reigns ever in this Place. Here surrounded with every Bliss, dwell those glorious Souls, that have laid down their Lives in their Country's Cause; or fallen a Sacrifice, in Defence of that Liberty, which some base Tyrant endeavoured to destroy. Here they are gloriously rewarded for their former Toils, blessed with that Serenity of Mind, unknown to ought but Virtue.
Here were the Fabii, the Curiatii, the Horatii and the Scipio's, Cincinnatus and, Camillus; the noble; Roman Attilius, who, rather than break his Faith, submitted to the most painful and languishing Death.
Here the Great Brutus, who sacrificed his Father and own Interest together in the Cause of Liberty, shone amongst these Worthies with superior Lustre; and the immortal Cato, who rather than outlive his Country's Ruin, bravely plunged his Dagger into his Heart.
Infinite Numbers more of illustrious Romans, who died in their Country's Cause, before Luxury and Effeminacy were introduced amongst them, enjoyed this happy Region.
Here was the Noble Theban Epaminondas, who by his Conquests made his native City the Empress and Metropolis of all Greece, and who, in his last Battle, would not permit the fatal Spear to be drawn from his Side, till News was brought him of his having gained the Victory; then drew it out, having lived enough to die unvanquished, and his Soul took Flight for this World, the Receptacle of such consummate Virtue.
Here were likewise Numbers of Monarchs, who had made the Happiness and Welfare of their Subjects their principal Care, and who rather chose to be their Protectors than their Persecutors.
It would be impossible to recite the Number of virtuous Souls, that possess this World of Joy. But no Country furnished it with more exalted ones, than your own Native Country Britain. There I had the Pleasure to behold the great Edward, and his glorious Son the Prince of Wales, with a whole Train of Princes, that had swayed the British Sceptre; and Thousands of Heroes, that bravely died in obtaining those Liberties you now enjoy. But in all this glorious Crowd, none made a greater Figure than the immortal Harry, the great Conqueror and Subduer of France.
But nothing gave me so great Delight, as two beautiful Children, that I saw walking Hand in Hand, in a Field of Violets and Roses; the Innocence, Sweetness and Beauty that appeared in their Looks, made me conclude they were not mortal (for all the Inhabitants of this Worlddd are so, though they always appear of the same Age they were, when they quitted the Earth) I imagined they were Angels descended from Heaven, and come to view this happy Region; but upon Enquiry, I found that they were those injur'd Babes, that were sacrificed in the Tower of London, to the Ambition of their unnatural Uncle.
There was only one Rioter in this World, and that was Alexander the Great. He still retained the Passion for Drinking which he had had on Earth, and sometimes was a little noisy, but never to offend; and to him I may owe my once more being an Inhabitant of the Earth; and in all likelihood the happy State I now enjoy. I was one Day, in his Company, entertained with the History of his Conquests in Persia, and particularly delighted with the Account of his generous Treatment of the beauteous Family of Darius; when I was so charmed with his Conversion, that I allowed myself to drink almost to Excess; this had such an Effect upon me, that it threw me into so violent a Fever, that in two Days Time, my Soul quitted this delightful World, and once more took Possession of an earthly Body.
If I had remembered the State I had quitted, it would have given me great Uneasiness to have changed so much for the worse; but I had no Notion of it, for it is only in the Planets, and not on Earth, that you have any Remembrance of a former Situation; but now, as I am immortal, I can look back into all my former Transmigrations.
I came into the World, at the Time that England groaned under the oppressive Weight of Popish Tyranny and Persecution; at a Time when the most hellish Monsters that ever existed, had the Power in their Hands, and being supported by the Princess that then sate on the Throne, exercised it with the most devilish and diabolical Cruelty. I will not enter into a Detail of the Particulars of my Infancy; only that I was born Son to a worthy Minister of the Church of England, as by Law established, in the late Reign, and he took care early to initiate those wholesome Principles into me, which he himself had ever professed.
I lost my Father when I was about twelve Years of Age; but I could never lose the good Advice and Doctrine I had received from him in his Life-Time: and I always retained a proper Detestation for the superstitious, idolatrous, and bigotted Maxims, that at this Time were crammed down the Throats of all that could swallow them. My Father died a Martyr, for the pure Christian Religion, at the Stake; and every infernal Torment that could be inflicted on him, could not prevail with him, although in the Flames, to renounce his God. He died (or rather was broiled to Death) with the utmost Piety and Resolution, and left behind him myself, my Mother big with Child, and seven small Children.
This did not satisfy the barbarous Cruelty of these Hell-hounds, but soon after my poor Mother was dragged to the Stake, and the Heat of the Flames bursting open her Belly, the Child dropped out alive; but these diabolical Agents took it up, and threw it crying into the Fire again. And now my Time came to be the Victim of their implacable Malice; every Art was made use of, to make me renounce my native Religion, but I bravely rejected them all. When they saw me resolute, they went to their last Resource, the Fagot; and I, like my Father, died in the Flames a Martyr to the Purity of the Gospel. My Body was burned to Ashes, but the immortal Part which cannot be hurt by all the Malice of Man, soared to the airy Regions; where it has since remained, unencumbered by the Load of Mortality. This is my History, and perhaps in another Visit I may make you acquainted with some Particulars relating to my present happy Situation.
After Mr. Thompson had finished reading the above History, he received the Thanks of the Emperor and the rest of the Company; every one made his own Remarks upon it, but all joined in commending the Constancy and Resolution contained in the last Part of it.
The Emperor insisted on us Dining with him the next Day; and it being pretty late, we took leave of him and Mr. Thompson; and my Companion and I went home. After Supper I read the History, that Mr. Thompson had given me a Copy of, to our worthy Host and his Family, who were greatly entertained with it, and we went to Rest, which, my worthy Reader, I imagine will not be disagreeable to yourself, after this long Chapter; so I will put an End to it.
We wait on the Emperor. A great deal of Matter that will not be agreeable to every one.
THE next Day we waited on the Emperor at Dinner Time, who
received us with the utmost Civility and Complaisance. Whilst we
were at Dinner I must own I was quite dejected; and the Thoughts
of being so soon, obliged to leave this happy Country, affected
me greatly. However I endeavoured as well as I could, to keep up
my Spirits. But this did not prevent the King and the rest of the
Company, observing my Melancholy, and knowing the Reason of it,
for as, I have taken Notice before, the Inhabitants of this
World, have the Gift of knowing the Thoughts of the Persons they
converse with. The Emperor was pleased in the most gracious
Manner to assure me, that my leaving the Country, could not give
me more Uneasiness than it did himself: but, says he, tho' (as I
told you the other Day) we have an inviolable Law, that no
Inhabitant of the Earth shall stay here above twelve Months, yet
there is none to prevent their returning again, after they have
left us; and though it is impossible for that to happen, but by
our Assistance; (unless it should be by such another Accident as
brought you amongst us) yet you may depend upon it, that if it is
your Desire, we will find a Method to bring you here again. I
returned him many Thanks for his Goodness, and assured him that,
if I had it in my own Power to follow my Inclinations, I would
never quit a Country, where I had received so many Marks of
Favour, and whose Inhabitants rather resembled Angels than
Men.
Says he, it is certain that we are blessed with particular Marks, of the Divine Favour; yet though we exceed your World in Perfection, we fall far short of Mr. Thompson's Jupiter and Mars's Inhabitants.
But the greatest Blessing we enjoy, and what is the chief Cause of our Happiness, is the not having Occasion for that Trash, which in your World is more rever'd, than the great Creator himself. Yet far be it from me to say that it is so by all, tho' I fear it is by much, very much the greatest Number.
Indeed we have it in a much greater Abundance than in your World, but then it is only used to be trampled upon. (For a Proof of this, you need only look into your own Histories, most of which, we have with us, translated into our own Language, by Persons that have from Time to Time, been sent to your World for that Purpose.) You will there fine, that it has been the Destruction of the greatest Empires. Rome never saw such Generals and Patriots, as she did when they were (upon any State Emergency) fetched from the Plough, and having saved their Country, returned to the Plough again.
The wife Lycurgus was so sensible that Wealth and its constant Attendant Luxury, were such Enemies to Mankind, that he prohibited the Introduction of Gold and Silver into his Commonwealth, and made all Property (nay even Children) belong to the State. Whilst these Regulations continued in Vigour, the Lacedemonians were a great and happy People, but afterwards upon Gold and Silver being introduced, the People became luxurious, corrupt, factious and effeminate. But amongst us, these Things can never happen, we have not the golden Idol, neither do we want it. We do not imagine that our whole Globe was created to feed the Pride and Luxury of a few, and that the rest should perish for Want, by depriving them of the Productions of our common Mother the Earth*, who yields her Bounty to every one indiscriminately. For this Reason every one has an equal Share of her Productions, and by this means Want is avoided, and all the Mischiefs it occasions. I cannot help observing to you, that in your World, Riches is a Cloak to all Villanies; nay, I may venture to say, that there are no Villains amongst you but poor Ones.
(* When I say Earth on these Occasions, I mean their World.)
A miserable Wretch who steals a Sixpence, to save himself from Starving, shall be hang'd; whilst the great Villain, that robs his Fellow-Subjects of Thousands, shall glory in the Theft.
What amongst the Great is called superior Talents, and respected accordingly; amongst the Poor, is called Villany, and punished as such. I defy you to mention to me an Instance in your World, where a Man, though the greatest Rascal that ever existed, (provided he has Money, no matter how he came by it) is not respected and caressed, and even by those who have the Reins of Government in their Hands, and ought impartially to distribute Justice without Favour or Affection; and hang the great Rogue, as well as the little one. But these are Remarks, that I know you must have made yourself, therefore we will drop the Subject.
I told him there was so much Truth in his Observations, that I had no Reply to make, and was sorry that our World gave so much Reason to have them made, and especially with so much Justice. Nay, says he, still to support what I have asserted; I can prove that there is no Action of a Man's Life, but what is judged by the Multitude, according to his Circumstances. For instance, the Person in small Circumstances loves good Eating and Drinking; for this, he gets the Name of an idle, worthless Spendthrift, and a Jail is too good for him: these Qualities, in the rich Man, are called an Elegance of Taste, (though he spends twice his Fortune to support them.) The poor Person shall run ten Pounds in Debt, be cast off by his Friends and Relations, as a Wretch unworthy of living, whilst the great Man shall have almost Adoration shewn him for ruining Hundreds of Families.
The poor Wretch that has been deluded, by the fair Promises of your Men of Fortune, and given up the most precious Jewel she had, is branded with the infamous Name of Whore, sent to a Dungeon to be striped, whilst her rich Undoer is triumphing in his Villiany, and gets the Character, amongst his Acquaintance of both Sexes, of a clever Fellow and a Man of Gallantry. The Wretch that prostitutes herself for Gain, and perhaps is the Mistress of some great and powerful Man, is revered and worshipped by Persons of both Sexes. What Impropriety! Virtue is either to be revered or the contrary; therefore certainly the Want of it is as great a Crime (and ought to meet with the same Punishment) in the rich Whore, as the poor one; for the Mistress of a King deserves that ignominious Title, as much as that of a Cobler. In short, look through Life, and you will find there are no bad People but poor ones; and that a rich Man attains the Reputation of a great one, by the very same Methods that a poor one gets a Halter, only with this Difference, that the poor one steals a halfpenny Role through Hunger, and the great one robs Thousands through Ambition. Thanks to the great God, says he, none of these Temptations are amongst us, and consequently none of the Inconveniencies that arise from them.
Our Discourse afterwards was upon various Subjects, and He (for I am no longer allowed to call him Majesty, being, a Title only due to the Creator) was pleased to tell me, that though he had reigned above three-score Years (being then three hundred and fifty Years of Age) that he never had been obliged to bring any Body to public Trial for Misdemeanors, but, says he, to-morrow a Man is to be publickly judg'd for a Crime, that with us is held the greatest. But as it appears that his Curiosity prevailed with him to visit the Earthly Quarter, where he continued a considerable Time, I am in hopes it will be a means of mitigating his Punishment, by his being looked upon to have been corrupted by those People, otherwise it would have been no less than Death. I do not doubt but you will have a Curiosity to hear the Trial; if so, you must be here early. After taking a respectful Leave of the Emperor and the Company, we returned to the City; and as I dare say my Reader will have a Curiosity to have some Account of the Family we lodged with, I will, as far as is necessary, satisfy it.
The Master of the House was about two hundred and twenty Years of Age; a near Relation of my Companion's worthy Father. He had every amiable Quality, so remarkable amongst these People. His Wife was about thirty Years younger than himself, extremely agreeable, though one might observe the Approaches of Age. They had had several Children, but only nine were living; two Sons and three Daughters of which had been a long Time married, and settled with their respective Families. There remained with their Parents the other four, a Son and three Daughters. The Son was about the Age of my Companion, the eldest of the Daughters about fifty, the youngest forty, quite in the Bloom of Youth and Beauty.
In this agreeable Family I was so happy, that I had almost forgot my good old Friend that we had left: but that I can never do, for were I to live to their Age, I should always retain a peculiar Respect and Veneration for him and his whole Family.
As nothing material occurred till the next Day, that we were to wait again on the Prince; I shall give my Reader a short Respite, and conclude this Chapter.
I am present at a remarkable Trial before the Prince. An Account of the Proceedings, and the Sentence passed thereon.
THIS Morning we sat out sooner than ordinary, as the Trial was
to come on at eight o'Clock. When we arrived at the Palace, we
found the Emperor and a vast Number of Persons already assembled.
As soon as he saw us, he accosted us in the most obliging Manner;
and was pleased to say, that this was the only unhappy Day he had
ever had in his long Reign. For this Day, says he, (and it is
absolutely necessary) I shall be obliged to pass a Sentence, that
I had never occasion to do before. And sorry am I to say it, that
it would not now have happened, had it not been occasioned by the
People of your World, who are now confined to the Earthly
Quarter. As soon as he had done speaking, he proceeded to the
Place of Trial, which was a large Field; and being seated on an
Eminence prepared for that Purpose, seventy of the oldest Persons
(for here they never allow Boys to be Judges, in Cases of
Life and Death) took their Seats on each Side of him, and soon
after the Criminal appeared. He seemed to be about fifty, (quite
a Youth) he was dressed in a black Jacket and Petticoat, his Robe
and Turbant the same Colour, and no Feathers as at other Times.
As soon as he was brought before the Emperor, he was by him,
acquainted with the Crime laid to his Charge, in (as near as I
can remember) the following Words.
It is, says the Emperor, near four hundred Years, that our Creator, by his unspeakable Mercies, has allowed me to enjoy Life. In all that Time I never felt so uneasy a Moment as I at this Instant do. What Pain must it give every Inhabitant of the Central World, to see one of their Brethren called before this venerable Assembly, to answer for a Crime that was hardly ever heard of before amongst us. You are charged with a Crime of the blackest Nature, and which, by our Laws, is punished with Death. It is is a Crime so detestable in itself, that it ought, above all others, to be punished with the utmost Severity. I most heartily wish, that you may be able so far to clear yourself, as to wipe off that Stain that must otherwise be for ever left to Posterity, upon this Age, in case you are found guilty. The Crime alledged against you is that of Ingratitude, and it makes my Blood run cold to repeat the Word. As I shall choose to detain the Assembly as short a Time as possible, I shall now order your Accusers to appear, and acquaint us with what they have to say in regard to the Charge, and then you will be allowed to make your Defence.
There was only one Person that appeared against him, and he delivered into Court a Paper containing the Charge, which being read was to the following Effect; but, for the Benefit of my Readers, I shall give it according to the Law Method (practised with us) in drawing up these Things. This Paper acquainted the Court, that
He had known the Prisoner from his Infancy, that he had always bore the best of Characters until this unhappy Affair happened. That he (the Prisoner) out of a silly Curiosity, had gone to visit the Earthly Quarter. That he had stayed there above a Month. That upon his Return home, he called at his (the Deponent's) House, and acquainted him with the Excursion he had made, and at the same Time told him that he was fearful he had incurred his Father's Displeasure by staying away so long, and desired him (this Deponent) to give him a Lodging in his House, and to endeavour to make Friends between him, and his (the Prisoner's) Father. That he (this Deponent) gave him a very friendly Reception, and waited on his Father with a View to accommodate Matters between them. That finding his Father a little refractory, he continued the Prisoner in his House for the Space of three Weeks and more, during which Time he endeavoured to do him all the good Offices in his Power. That at last he (the Deponent) prevailed with the Father to be reconciled to the Son, and to receive him again into Favour. That after the Prisoner was received by his Father, he acquainted him, that it was by his (the Deponent's) Instigation, that he had been so long from home; and that he should never have have visited the Earthly Quarter, had it not been by his (the Deponent's) Persuasion. That this false Representation has occasioned great Ill-will from the Father of the Prisoner to him this Deponent: And that likewise upon his (this Deponent's) coming home one Night, from his (the Prisoner's) Father during the Time of him, (the Prisoner's) being in this Deponent's House, he found his youngest Daughter, a Girl about thirty, all in Tears, and upon his (this Deponent's) asking her the Reason, she acquainted him, that the Prisoner, during his (the Deponent's) Absence, had offered Violence to her, and said, the old Prigg, her Father, was a Scoundrel; and as soon as he had compleated the Reconciliation between him and his Father, he would return him Thanks by a Kick on the Breech, Dem him, or Words to that Effect.
The Prisoner being asked whether he was guilty or not, he pleaded guilty, and threw himself upon the Mercy of the Emperor, and the Court. He likewise begged Leave (in Mitigation of his Crime) to acquaint them, that he unhappily had heard of the Earthly Quarter; that his Curiosity carried him there: that when he was got amongst those People, upon his mentioning that he was sure it would disoblige his Father, and the great Duty that was due from a Son to a Parent, they laughed at him, and said, his Father was an old Prigg, (a Word that he did not understand) and that no Bloods, the Meaning of which he did not understand till it was explained to him, ought to have any Regard for such old Fools. As to the Abuse offered the Deponent's Daughter, he acknowledged it, and that he made Use of the Words Dem me, but did not know their Meaning; but that they were often made Use of by these People. That they likewise told him, that no young Fellow ought to be looked upon as a Buck, till such Time as he had either debauched his Friend's Daughter, or lain with his Wife.
That he was very sorry for the Errors he had been guilty, of; but, as he ingenuously confessed them, he hoped he should meet with Mercy.
The Emperor observed to the Court, that though the young Fellow had made a frank and open Confession of his Fault; yet it would be dangerous to permit him to dwell amongst them: and, that though he now seemed sensible of his Crime, he might again relapse: and how fatal a Thing of that Sort might be to the whole Empire, by debauching the Morals of the Youth, and, in Time, introducing all the Vices that were practised in the Earthly World. He, therefore, recommended it to the Wisdom of the Judges, to endeavour to prevent in Time, what at last, might be the Destruction of the Empire. They therefore, in less than a Quarter of an Hour, resolved upon the following Sentence, viz.
That the Prisoner should he carried to the Place from whence he came; that he there should have his Beard and Hair cut off; that from thence he should be conducted to the Earthly Quarter, and never come out of it upon Pain of Death.
This Sentence being confirmed by the Emperor, it was immediately put in Execution, and then the Court broke up.
This Affair, I must own, shocked me a good deal. To see the poor young Fellow banished from the Society of the most amiable Set of Men I had ever been amongst to a Set of Wretches that did not deserve to live, affected me greatly. But his Doom was irrevocable, the Sentence was passed; and had he been the Emperor's Son, it would have been put in full Force. For here, as I have often observed, there is no Favour or Affection; if a Person incurs a Penalty by any Breach of the Constitution, he must submit to it.
How different with us! how many Instances have we yearly, of poor Devils, that have no Friends, suffering for Trifles at Tyburn; when the Person guilty of the most enormous Crimes, (Murder not excepted) shall receive a Reprieve: because, perhaps, the Person condemned has married a Woman, that is acquainted with a Person, who is intimate with another, that is a great Favourite of the Stay-maker, that works for the Lady, that is Woman to the Mistress of some great Man in Power.
Surely the Lives of our Fellow-Creatures ought not to be held so cheap: and few, very few, should so hastily be launched into Eternity, because they have the Misfortune to be destitute of Money or Friends. But to return,
Though (as I said before) this young Fellow's unhappy Case shocked me greatly, yet I had soon after a greater Cause of Grief. For, notwithstanding I had been so ill-used in the World where I was born, and had so little Reason to be affected with the Punishments inflicted on those, that originally sprung from the Loins of my earthly Brethren; yet I still had a little Natural Affection left for my Countrymen (for so I call all that belong to our World) and though they brought their Punishment upon themselves, I could not help pitying them. I speak of the Earthly Quarter (of which mention has often been made) whose Ancestors were formerly part of the Inhabitants of our Globe, but were thrown, by an Earthquake, near an hundred Years ago, upon the Central World; where they and their Posterity, might have enjoyed all the Happiness they could have wished. But their many Crimes, had obliged the central Inhabitants to confine them to a particular District: Even here they might have lived happily; but that mischievous, litigious, and rebellious Disposition, that they had acquired from their Parents, was eternally giving great Uneasiness to the Government: and now the Time was come, that they, and their whole Race, was to be extinguished. The Particulars of which may be learned in the next Chapter.
A dangerous Conspiracy formed by the Inhabitants of the Earthly Quarter, but happily suppressed, and in what Manner.
ABOUT this Time, an Express arrived from the Earthly Quarter,
which brought an Account, that these People (who were now
encreased to two Thousand and upwards) were all up in Arms, and
that they aimed at nothing less, than the total Destruction of
the whole Central Empire. To kill Men, Women and Children, was
their Resolution, and by that Means become Masters of all that
World. For this Purpose they had provided themselves with all
Sorts of the destructive Implements, made use of in our
World.
They were likewise furnished with a large Quantity of Gunpowder, and a regular Train of Artillery; having learned the Art of making Powder, by a Manuscript that belonged to one of their Ancestors. This Express likewise brought an Account, that the Day was fixed, on which they were to make the Attack, by first destroying the Emperor, and then assaulting the Capital; and that they did not doubt of meeting with Success, as the Inhabitants could not make any Resistance, being Strangers to all Sorts of Arms, they having no Occasion for any amongst themselves.
It must be imagined that this Account alarmed the Emperor greatly; and as the Persons that had assisted at the Trial of the young Fellow, were all on the Spot, he acquainted them with the News he had received, and immediatly Dispatches were sent sent to the Capital, and different Parts of the Empire.
It was a long Time debated, whether or no, I should not be taken into Custody, and kept close Prisoner; but at last it was agreed, that as I had never given any Occasion of Offence, and could not be answerable for the Conduct of my Countrymen, I should be left at Liberty.
In a few Days, two or three thousand Vehicles (such as I have described before) arrived at the Capital, with two Persons in each. The Emperor then called a Council of five hundred of the oldest Persons present (for Boys are not even allowed into their Counsels) and having acquainted them with the dangerous Situation the Empire was in, and how necessary it was, speedily to avert the impending Danger, several Debates arose. Some were for putting them all to Death, which they might easily have done, in the Night-Time; for having the Advantage of Travelling with such Expedition, they might with Ease arrive over their Town, when they were all asleep, and set it on Fire, and by that Means entirely destroy them.
But this was over-ruled, Murder being so contrary to their Constitution and Religion, if Things can be brought about without it: It was likewise said, that by this Means several innocent Women and Children might suffer; and hard it would be that they should be punished for the Crimes of their Husbands and Parents.
It was next proposed that fifteen hundred Chariots should set out the next Night at six o'Clock; and as the Earthly Quarter was only an hundred and fifty Miles distant, they might arrive there by twelve o'Clock, when they would be all asleep: That they should alight near the Town, and as soon as they were entered, a certain Number should secure each House, and with Cords (which were to be ready prepared) they should tye the Men in their Beds securely, until the Emperor and his Council's Pleasure should be known. This met with an universal Approbation, and the Emperor giving his Consent to it, it was agreed to be put in Execution the next Night.
The Remainder of this Day, and all the next, was employed in preparing every Thing necessary for the Expedition, but particularly Cords. The Emperor had determined to head the Cavalcade, and though he was persuaded against it, as he might endanger his Health, yet he persisted in it, alledging, that his Health or even Life was not worth preserving, when not employed, on every Occasion, in the Service of his Country.
I offered my Service on this Occasion (though I must own against my Inclination) but the Emperor was pleased to tell me he would dispense with it; for though, says he, I do not doubt but you condemn the Conduct of your Countrymen, yet it must be disagreable to you to serve against them; so I continued, during the Time they were absent, at the House of my Companion's Friend, with his Wife and Daughters; he and the Father and Son being to go on the Expedition. And now the Time being come, they proceeded on their Journey, but it was so dark I could not see the Cavalcade, which otherwise must have been agreeable and surprizing. To have seen fifteen hundred Chariots, on their March through the open Air, must have surpassed any Thing we ever saw in our World.
This whole Night I was troubled with the most anxious Thoughts; what between a little Love, that was still left for my Countrymen, and the high Veneration I had for the People, amongst whom I then was, my Mind was so agitated that I got little or no Rest. I rose the next Morning as soon as it was light, and strolled about the Town till Breakfast-Time; and when I came home, my Landlady, perceiving the Perturbation of my Soul, took every Method in her Power to alleviate my Anxiety. I must own that what gave me the most sensible Grief, was to think, that I had had the Misfortune to have been born amongst such Miscreants.
She perceived my Thoughts, and was kind enough to say, that she did not doubt, but that through the whole Creation there was a Mixture of Good and Bad; and though our World in general bore the Character of being a People void of every good Quality, and guilty of every Vice, that yet there were several amongst us, that were possessed of every Virtue requisite in the human Species.
About an Hour after Dinner, as we were sitting together in serious Discourse, all of a sudden the Sky was darkned, as with an Eclipse: I jumped up and ran to the Door, where I saw the whole Air filled with Chariots. I immediately concluded that it was the Emperor returned, and so it happened; for shortly after, the Nuts (which I have mentioned before to be thrown down, when they would have the Birds descend) fell as thick as Hail, and instantly the whole City was filled with Chariots.
I soon discovered my Companion and his worthy Friend and Sons; they met me with great Affection, and acquainted me, that their Scheme had met with the desired Success. That they found the whole Town asleep, and (as was designed) had fastened them in their Beds. That all their Instruments of Death, together with their Powder, were destroyed; and that, after great Debates, it had been agreed on, in order to prevent their Increase, and in time to extirpate the whole Race, to castrate all the Males, a desperate Disease requiring a desperate Remedy. That the Females had it left to their Option, either to live with their Husbands, or to marry amongst the central Inhabitants; but that they generally had embraced the latter. That the Men (to prevent any thing of this Kind for the future) were to be dispersed in small Parcels, so that in a few Years the whole Race of them would be extinct. And thus, says he, we have defeated this barbarous Conspiracy, and made a proper Provision to prevent the like for the future. But, my dear Friend, continued he, don't let this dispirit you; for be assured, no Person in the Empire is more esteemed than yourself, although you belong to the World they came from. I made a proper Return to his Compliments, and we went into the House, where they were received in the most courteous Manner by the good Lady and her Daughters.
I was greatly concerned at the severe Operation my Countrymen had undergone; but as they had brought it upon themselves, that Melancholy which it had occasioned me wore off in a few Days.
I was now desirous to know what was become of the young Fellow (whose Trial I was at, and who had been banished to the Earthly Quarter) and upon my Enquiry they informed me, that as he had exerted himself greatly on this Occasion, and was of very much Service, he obtained a Pardon from the Emperor, and was restored to his Liberty.
As my Companions were a good deal fatigued with their Expedition, we went to Bed sooner than ordinary; so, gentle Reader, if you are inclined to do the same, I will give you a fair Opportunity, by putting an End to this Chapter.
I meet with an old Acquaintance just arrived from the Earth, who tells me some agreeable News.
I HAVE often mentioned, that here the Use of Gold is unknown,
but it is to be understood the Use that we put it to. For in this
World Gold is as common as common Stones with us, and as such
used only in building their Houses, paving their Streets, etc.
and precious Stones of all Sorts are so extremely plenty, that
they are generally made use of for the same Purposes, being of a
prodigious Size. Often have I thought to myself, when I have been
walking upon a Pavement of Diamonds, and others the most valuable
Jewels, how much I exceeded the greatest of our earthly Monarchs,
who could trample under Foot what by them is set so great a Price
upon, and for the attaining of which so many Lives are lost. This
always brought me to consider the little Value of any thing that
is common, and that every thing is prized in our World according
to the Plenty or Scarcity of it. For
What's the Worth of any Thing,
But just as much as it will bring?
I must confess that their Towns and Houses make a most dazling Appearance, which is easier to be conceived than described. For how greatly must the Lustre, that every where surround one, exceed any thing in our World, when the largest Brilliant in it is no more to be compared to the smallest here, than a Pebble is to a large Paving-Stone.
Whilst we stayed in this City we seldom failed dining with the King, and were always entertained in the most obliging Manner.
I was one Day walking in the Fields, enchanted with the Delights that every Way surrounded me, when I perceived in the Air a dark Spot, about the Size of half a Crown. I kept my Eyes fixed upon it; and as it encreased greatly, I could soon perceive that it was something falling from the Earth: I observed with great Attention where it fell, and instantly flew to the Place, which was about three Fields from me. When I came there I found it was a Man; but what was my Surprize, when I found it to be the Person mentioned at the Beginning of this Book, and who in our World had been the most ungrateful Wretch that ever existed. One whom at my own Expence I had long maintained in his Distress; and who, after he came to Affluence, had requited my Services, by doing me all the Injuries that lay in his Power. One who, instead of acknowledging (when he had it greatly in his Power) the Favours he had received from me, not only refused me his Assistance, but so effectually did me ill Offices with my Friends and Relations, as to make them likewise desert me, which occasioned me for a long time to undergo the greatest Hardships.
But this was not a Time to remember Injuries, he stood in need of my Assistance, and it was my Duty to give it him. His Ingratitude was no Excuse for my behaving contrary to the Dictates of Humanity. I therefore immediately took out my Bottle (which had been given me when I first came here) and applied the Ointment in the same Manner the good old Man had done to me in the like Distress. He instantly jumped up, and attempted to embrace my Feet: I flew from him, and said in English, Attempt not to worship him to whom you have been the greatest of Enemies: I now have had it in my Power to shew a proper Revenge, and the most agreeable one it has been to me, by returning Good for Bad. In return for the many Injuries I have received from you, I have saved your Life. Look in my Face, for my Dress cannot alter that; and there you will see the Man, who formerly was your best of Friends, and whole Friendship you requited by being his worst of Enemies. I am glad it has been in my Power to serve you, and I most sincerely forgive you, and will continue to do you all the Service that lies in my Power.
His Surprize and Astonishment cannot be described; for upon hearing me speak English (notwithstanding my Dress) he instantly knew me; but for a long Time could get out no more than, Oh! my God, is it you? As soon as he recovered, he said, you have been long dead, and we are both now in that Place, where we are to be rewarded or punished, according to the manner in which we lived on Earth; but the happy Lot is yours, and mine the wretched: For of all my Crimes, that against you was the greatest.
I assured him that we were both alive and still mortal (for thro' the Fright in his Fall, and seeing me, who had been so long looked upon to be out of the Land of the Living, he imagined himself dead) and that he was arrived in a World that exceeded our's, as much as Angels did Men. I happened to have a little Bottle of Cordial in my Pocket, of which I gave him some, which revived him greatly; but I found him bruised very much by his Fall, it happening upon the hard Ground.
He most earnestly begged Pardon for his Perfidy to me, and I very readily forgave it him. And after acquainting him with the Particulars of my Adventures, and likewise having informed him where we were, and described this World and Inhabitants to him, I desired to know what Accident had sent him hither.
Mr. Worldly (for that was his Name) acquainted me, that he, and several others, had made a Party to visit the Wonders of the Peak of Derby. That in too curiously viewing; and advancing too far, into that wonderful Chasm, called the Devil's Arse, his Foot had slipt, and that he tumbled into a vast Hole. That he continued falling for a considerable Time, and at last was surrounded with a Glory that exceeded any Thing he had ever beheld. That the Quickness of the Motion with which he fell had quite deprived him of his Senses; and that he could give no Account of any thing farther, till the Time that I had found him. He then proceeded to tell me, that upon my being missing, all the Search imaginable had been made after me; that my Friends hearing nothing of me, it was concluded that I had either been drowned, or some other Way destroyed.
That then those Relations, who had used me (when alive) with so much Cruelty, had relented, greatly, and blamed their own too great Severity to me: And, says he, we often find that Death softens the Hearts of those, who were inexorable to the Cries and Distresses of the Person when living: For my own Part, says he, after it was reported that you was dead, my Conscience was so stung with the Injuries I had done you, that I had not an easy Moment, and often thought myself accessary to your Death. I again assured him, that I most heartily forgave him, and he swore to me an inviolable Friendship. I then carried him to the House of my Friend; where (after my having told them his Story) he was received by the whole with the utmost Civility.
Soon after he came into the House the Operation was performed upon him (as formerly had been upon me) by which he acquired their Language, to his infinite Surprize and Satisfaction.
Our Discourse, till Bed-time, turned chiefly upon what has already been said, relating to the World we were upon; the Particulars of which, as the Reader has heard before, I shall not trouble him again with them. The next Day was fixt on to introduce him to the Emperor, but an Accident prevented it, as may be seen in the next Chapter.
An Accident that gives me great Concern. I leave the City and return to my old Friend's House, who I find with his Family in perfect Health. I am present at a Marriage. The unfashionable Custom of the Parents, in leaving the Choice, upon these Occasions, entirely to those that ought to make it, viz. their Children.
MR. WORLDLY, by the Bruises he had received in his
Fail, was the next Morning attacked with a violent Fever; and as
there were no such Things as Doctors to be met with in this
Country (the Inhabitants never having any Occasion for them) I
undertook to supply their Place.
The first Thing I did was to bleed him, which I effected, by the Assistance of a sharp Pen-knife, which I had had in my Pocket ever since I came here. I likewise gave him all the cooling Things I could think of, but all to no Effect; the Fever still encreased, and the next Day he was delirious. The whole Family did all in their Power to be of Assistance to him; and the Emperor, hearing of it, was pleased to come himself, but all was in vain; for the third Day after he came amongst us, he expired. I was most sensibly affected with this Disaster, especially as he had appeared so sensible of the Injustice he had done me, and as I had promised myself much Satisfaction in his future Acquaintance.
No Pains were spared to give him a decent Funeral, and as I desired to have it after our Manner, I officiated in the room of a Minister and having most of the Funeral Service by Heart, repeated it over his Corpse, which was attended to the Grave by the Emperor himself, my Companion, his Friend and Family, and a great Number of the Inhabitants.
As Mr. Worldly, in our Discourse together, had told me that my Relations would rejoice to hear I was alive, and likewise had mentioned the Concern they had shewn on my supposed Death, I must own it greatly alleviated the Concern I had been under, at the Thoughts of leaving this Country at the Year's End. I began, almost to wish the Time expired, that I might again see those that had formerly been dear to me. I therefore determined to propose to my Companion (at a proper Opportunity) our Return to his Father's; for I began to long to see the good old Man and Lady, and stay sometime with them before my Departure. But how that was to be performed, I could not conceive; for tho' I had tumbled down, I had no Idea of tumbling up again; I had still two or three Months good, I gave myself no great Concern about it, and left the Management of it entirely to them.
We now past our Time in the most agreeable Manner, in Walking and Conversation: As to the Pleasures of Vaux-Hall and Ranelagh, they were exceeded every common Field; and the warbling of the Birds far surpassed any Concert in our World.
Notwithstanding that my Situation was so very agreeable, yet my Inclination to return to my own Country still encreased, as I promised myself infinite Pleasure in meeting my Friends, and concluding a long and happy Reconciliation with them; for surely nothing can be so great an Happiness as a Unity amongst Relations; and, if a Breach has happened, to have it made up.
One Day, as my Friend and I were conversing together upon different Subjects, I observed by his Discourse, that he had (if possible) a greater Inclination to return to his Father's than myself. As he never had mentioned our Return before, I was not a little surprized at his Earnestness now, and I questioned him upon it. He was for sometime backward in telling his Reason; but at last he said, my dear Friend, I can disclose nothing from you; in short, I have for a long Time paid my Addresses to a Lady in our Neighbourhood, whose Charms exceed any thing, that was ever yet beheld. The only Obstacle I met with to accomplish my utmost Wishes, was the obtaining her own Consent. I have this Day received an Express, that upon my Return she is determined to make me happy. Therefore, my dear Friend, I beg you will so far indulge me as to let it be as soon as possible.
I congratulated him upon his good Fortune, and assured him that the sooner we sat out the more agreeable it would be to me, were it for no other Reason, than the hastening his Happiness; but that for my own part, I was very desirous to see his worthy Father and Family. We accordingly agreed to set out, as soon as we had taken a proper Leave of the Emperor, and the Acquaintance we had made in the City.
As soon as we had made our Intentions known, the whole Town vied with one another, which should entertain us in the most friendly Manner; and notwithstanding we had promised, at our first coming, to dine every Day with the Emperor, we were yet obliged to comply with the Invitations of several others. This took us up ten or twelve Days: At the End of which Time, my Companion being very impatient to be in Possession of the Darling of his Soul, we took our Leave of the Emperor, and the rest of our Friends, and agreed to set out the next Morning on our return Home.
About eight o'Clock we began our Journey, after having taken Leave of our kind Host and his Family; and as the Reader is already acquainted with our Manner of Travelling in this Country, I shall not trouble him with another Account of it.
My Companion had a Mind to acquaint his Sister with his good Fortune; accordingly we arrived there about Noon, and were received with the greatest Affection. As soon as he let her know the Reason of his Return; she promised him that both herself and her Husband would attend him at the Nuptials. She pressed us very hard to stay Dinner, but we excused ourselves, and proceeded on our Journey to my worthy Friend's House, where we arrived about six in the Evening.
It is impossible to express the Joy, which the old Man and Lady expressed on seeing us returned; and they were pleased to say, that the Time of our Absence had appeared an Age.
After we came into the Parlour, we gave them a particular Account of our Reception; by the Emperor, etc. and every other Particular, that had happened during our Absence. They expressed great Concern that the Earthly Quarter had given Occasion to be dealt so severely with; but fearing the Subject would give me Uneasiness they dropped it.
And now nothing was the Subject of our Discourse, but the approaching Nuptials; and the next Day the Son proposed making a Visit to his intended Spouse, and was so kind to invite me to accompany him; which I readily consented to, being very desirous to see the Lady, that was to make my Friend happy.
Accordingly the next Morning we sat out for the House, that contained the Treasure of his Soul. It was about three Hours Journey, and we arrived there before Dinner. But to express the Transports with which they met each other, requires a much abler Pen than mine; in short the ridiculous Coyness, that is expected (amongst us) to appear between those, that are very shortly to be joined together for Life, is not the Custom of this Country; and though a proper Decency is observed, yet the intended Bride is not restricted, from shewing the Transports that possess her Soul in the Thoughts of her approaching Happiness.
After the first Raptures were a little subsided, I was introduced to the Parents, by whom I was received with that unaffected Complaisance, that is peculiar to these People. When I was introduced to the future Bride, and had made her a Compliment on her approaching Happiness; she was pleased to say, that she had long heared of my being a Friend of her intended Spouse, and that nothing now gave her Concern, but to think that the Time of my Stay amongst them would be so short, that should not have a long Proof of that Happiness she expected from my Friend, and which she was in hopes to occasion him.
I told her that I had so infinite an Esteem for all the Inhabitants of the Country I was in, and had received so many Favours, from every one I had conversed with, that I could not, even wish, to break through the Laws they had made, by even attempting to continue here beyond the Time alotted me, though it would be the utmost of my Wishes so to do. But though I could not long be an Eye-Witness of their Happiness, yet in the little Time, I had had the Honour of being in her Company, I was sufficiently certified, that whoever had the Happiness of possessing her, must be the happiest of Mortals. She was pleased to return me Thanks for my Compliment; and Dinner being ready, we retired to the Room appointed for that Purpose.
To attempt to describe this lovely Person would be impossible; let it suffice to say, that her Shape and Mien were infinitely charming.
Her Face was oval, her Eyes black as Sloes; her Forehead high, her Nose a little inclined to the Roman, and in the Whole, there was such an enchanting Languishment, that it was impossible to behold her without loving. But all these natural Perfections were greatly enhanced, by a free and obliging Behaviour. And permit me to say, that were our English Ladies to employ Part of that Time (which they throw too much away in setting off their Persons at their Toilets) in that more material Part of improving and accomplishing their Minds, they would be infinitely more agreeable than even (as they vainly imagine) Paint, or Washes can make them.—An agreeable Person is certainly a requisite in a married State, but a heavenly Mind far exceeds it; the one is transitory, the other lasting, and improves by Years.
After we had been very agreeably entertained here, the best Part of the Day, my Companion took an affectionate Leave of his future Bride, and we returned to his Father's.
It is not to be imagined, that our Discourse this Night turned upon any Thing but the lovely Object we had left, and who was so soon, to make my Friend happy. He did not neglect visiting her every Day till that of their Nuptials, which being at last happily arrived, the Marriage was solemnized, in the Manner you will see in the next Chapter.
I begin to be desirous of returning to our World again. I discover my Desire to my old Friend, who promises to accompany me. After taking Leave of my Acquaintance we set out together. Our Manner of Travelling. We arrive within a few Miles of London. Several Particulars.
THIS Morning, my Friend's Sister and Brother-in-Law, arrived
very early, and before eight we had several Friends and Relations
assembled together, to be present at the approaching Ceremony.
The Bridegroom was dressed all in White, except his Robe, which
was Sky Colour, and indeed he made a fine Appearance. About nine
we sat out for the Place which possessed the Treasure of his
Soul.
We found her beautiful as Venus, and the Dress she had pitched upon (if possible) added to her natural Charms. It will not be amiss to observe, that amongst these People; there is no such Thing as asking in Churches, or Licences, invented with us, for no other Use than to fill the Pockets of a Right Reverend, For God's Command to them, is the same as in our World, viz, to Encrease and Multiply. Therefore nothing more is required of these Occasions, than the Consent of the Parties to be joined together; and when that happens, Father, Mother, Aunt, old antiquated Guardians, or any other of that Sort of Stuff, (to which so much Regard is paid amongst us) is not regarded; for there is here no such Obstructors of God's Ordinance. By this Means their Marriages are always happy; and so they would be with us, was not Profit (On these Occasions) consulted before Happiness.
If my Reader expects to have a Marriage after the Manner, now in Use amongst us, he will be greatly mistaken. As nothing but Plainness and Sincerity is the Characteristic of these People, even, on this most solemn Occasion, all Shew and Ostentation is avoided.
As soon as the Parties were met, the Father of the Bride conduced her into the Middle of the Assembly, and the Father of the Bridegroom did the same by him. They were respectively acquainted by their Parents, that Marriage was an holy Institution, ordered by God to keep up the Race of Mankind. That it was as great a Felicity as could befall a Man in this World, if the Parties agreed as they ought; but if matched contrary to their Inclinations, a greater Misery could not happen. That for these Reasons, it had ever been the Practice of their Ancestors, not to interfere, in the Choice that their Children made; well knowing that they were the best Judges; who to choose as a Companion for Life. Therefore they desired them to declare, before the whole Company, whether the Choice they had made of each other, proceeded entirely from their own Inclinations, or whether they had been influenced or directed in it by Parents, or any other Relations. Upon their both declaring, that it proceeded entirely from the Love they bore each other, their Hands were joined, and they mutually promised to be faithful.
After the Ceremony was over, the Company were regaled in an elegant Manner; and after a great deal of Mirth and good Humour, the Bridegroom conduced his Spouse to her Father's House, and the rest of the Company retired to their respective Habitations: for my Part I attended the new married Couple. It is not to be imagined that we sat up very late this Night, my Friend was too impatient to enjoy those Raptures which nothing but true Love can afford.
A few days after the Marriage, he pitched upon a sufficient Piece of Land, for the Maintenance of himself and Family, and in a short Time there was a very handsome House built upon it, he being assisted by many of his Neighbours. As soon as it was finished, he conduced his Wife home; and my Time was chiefly employed, either at his House or his Father's, and in various Parties of Pleasure.
Notwithstanding I past my Time so agreeably, my Desire to return to my native Country increased; and though I had met with a great deal of Cruelty from Relations, and Ingratitude from Acquaintance, I still was in hopes (from what Mr. Worldly told me before he died) that I should meet with a kind Reception. I therefore determined upon taking my Departure, before my Time was expired, especially as it appeared disagreeable to me to be forced out of the Country, (as I must have been, had I stay'd out my Time) and I chose to make a Virtue of a Necessity.
I therefore took an Opportunity to tell my worthy old Friend, that Mr. Worthy (before he expired) had told me some Particulars relating to my Affairs, that would require my Presence in our World, before the Time limited for my Departure was expired. And I therefore begged that he would be so kind to add to the Number of Favours I had already received from him, that of putting me in a Way of accomplishing my Design; for I told him, smiling, tho' I had been so accidentally and miraculously thrown upon their World, I had no Notion how I could return to my own again.
He was pleased to say, that it gave him great Concern to think that he must part with me; but, says he, I am so much your Friend, that I would prefer your Ease to my own; and as you say it is absolutely necessary that you immediately return to your own World, I will not only comply with your Request, and put you in a Way how to perform it, but likewise accompany you myself. I returned him many Thanks for his Goodness; and it gave me great Pleasure to think that I should have his Company along with me. He told me, that upon my giving him two Days Notice, he would be ready to attend me; and for the present we dropped the Discourse.
I employed my Time between this and my Departure, in taking Leave of all my Acquaintance; which when done, the good old Man was as good as his Word, and got every thing in Readiness.
I must own I was greatly divided between Grief and Pleasure; to leave these worthy People gave me great Concern, and yet I had a secret Pleasure in the Thoughts of once more seeing my native Country. For there is certainly an innate Affection planted in every one's Breast for the Place of their Nativity, be it ever so bad; and the vulgar Proverb of Home's home, be it ever so homely, carries in it a great deal of Truth.
The Time being now come for our Departure, after taking the most affectionate Leave of my friend's Wife and Family, we set out; but our Manner of Travelling differed from the common one, in the Central World.
As soon as we came to the Door, I perceived two monstrous Birds; to the Beak of one of them was was fastened a long Ribbon, which my kind Conductor taking in his Hand, he directed me to get upon its Back, and he mounted the other. He kept the Ribbon (that was fastened to mine) in his Hand, as we often see a Groom hold a Rein of his young Master's Horse, before he is perfected in riding; and upon his giving the Signal, they extended their Wings, and soared up with us at a prodigious Rate. I believe in about six Hours, we had got half way on our Journey; for the World I had left, began to look like a large Moon at Full. I cannot help saying, but upon seeing it, I cast many a heavy Sigh; and if I live to the Age of Methuselah, I shall always retail the highest Veneration and Esteem for its Inhabitants.
My Conductor now desired me to observe the Glory that surrounded me, (for we were come so near to the concave Part of our World, that the jewels with which it was studded, almost took away my Eye Sight;) but this did not last long, for presently we were surrounded with a total Darkness. He then told me that we were got into the Crust of our World, and that the passing of it, would be much more difficult than all the former Part of our Journey. And indeed so it was, for the Space was so much confined, that the Birds had hardly Room to move their Wings; but in about an Hour, after we had been in this Darkness, I discovered Light, and presently afterwards, we arrived safe upon my Mother World, but in what Part I never knew.
He congratulated me upon our safe Arrival, and told me, that we were within a few Miles of London, whither he would accompany me, but that I must submit, for a little while to have my Eyes covered, that I might not know in what Part to find this Entrance to their World.
I submitted to it, and after being carried through the Air, a Quarter of an Hour, the Birds settled on the Ground, and I dismounted; but as soon as my Eyes were uncovered, I missed the Birds, and what became of them, I never could learn.
The Ointment, which had been used upon me at my first falling on the Centre, had rendered my Body of a proper Gravity for that World, by taking off the great Power of its attractive Quality; but now as I was arrived in our World, where the Attraction was not near so great; I found much Inconvenience from it, for I could hardly keep my Feet on the Ground, and got two or three Tumbles upon my Nose; but my Friend soon relieved me, by sprinkling me with a certain Liquid, which instantly restored me to my proper Weight.
And now my Situation was very bad, for I had got to a World, where nothing was to be had without Money, and where one might starve for an halfpenny Roll, if there is not wherewithal to pay for it. My Conductor observed my Uneasiness, and told me that though it was capital to bring any Gold or Jewels from the Centre; yet as he foresaw the Necessity there would be for it, he had brought with him a small Diamond, which I might sell to supply my present Occasions: He accordingly gave it me, and by this Time I smelt the Smoke of London; and soon after, we arrived in Piccadilly.
As we had both of us our Central Garbs on, I recollected an old Friend, that lived in that Part of the Town, that I was in hopes might supply us with proper Dresses, as he dealt in those Sorts of Things. We accordingly went to his House, and upon the Door being opened, the Maid, as soon as she saw us in such odd Dresses, let drop the Candle, and scream'd out, A Ghost! a Ghost! The Noise brought down the Master, who upon my speaking to him instantly knew me. I told him, that I and my Friend had been upon a Frolick a Masquerading, and that as we were a good Way from Home, and chose to change our Dresses, I should be greatly obliged to him if he would furnish us. He was so kind to consent to it, and we were instantly equipped in Earthly Garbs, upon Promise of returning them the next Morning.
He expressed a good deal of Surprize at the prodigious Length of my Friend's Beard; but I told him that he was a Foreigner, spoke no English, and that it was the Custom of the Country he came from, to wear their Beards to that Length: With this his Curiosity was satisfied. I now perceived that I had another Difficulty to surmount; we had not a Farthing of Money; and it was too late to think of disposing of my Diamond till the Morning.
I therefore let my Acquaintance know our Situation, and he very generously relieved us by lending me a Couple of Guineas; but insisted on our dining with him the next Day, which we consented to, and parted.
I must own that now the Calls of Hunger were very strong upon me, which I signified to my old Friend; and I found that a little Supper would not be disagreeable to him: And it is nor to be wondered at that we should be hungry, considering that we had travelled this Day no less than three thousand Miles; which will be easily seen, if the Reader pleases to observe, that the Diameter of our World is seven thousand Miles, the Diameter of the Central Globe one thousand; consequently from the Surface of one to the Surface of the other, must be three thousand Miles.
We now prepared to seek out a proper House, to allay the Cravings of Nature, and we pitched upon the Thatch'd House Tavern, St. James's Street. As I knew my Friend would touch nothing that had had Life, and not having a Desire for any Thing of that Sort myself, (having so long been unaccustomed to it) so soon as we entered the House, and had fixed on a Room, I ordered a large Sallad, some Artichoaks to be boiled, with other Things of that Sort, and a Dish of Tarts and Cream Cheese.
When we had supped, and drank a Bottle of Claret, we paid our Reckoning, and went to Piero's Bagnio, to take up our Quarters for that Night; but when we were shewn to our Chambers, I could not prevail on my old Friend to lie between the Sheets, he insisted upon pulling them off; and as soon as I had seen him in Bed, and thrown the Quilt over him, I took my Leave, and retired to my own Room, where I went to Bed, without being so scrupulous as to pull off the Sheets.
The Conclusion.
UPON my getting up in the Morning, I went to my good old
Friend's Chamber, who I found already risen, and after having
breakfasted we sallied into the Streets, where we did not want
for Crowds of Gazers; for his Beard was of a most prodigious
Length, and as White as Silver. Besides, there was a certain
Majesty in his Person that exceeded any Thing to be seen amongst
us; and I do not doubt but many of my Readers may remember (by
this Description) to have seen him in the Park and about
Charing Cross.
I now began to think of furnishing myself with a little Money, by disposing of my Diamond: we accordingly took Coach and drove to a Jeweller's in the City of my Acquaintance, who out of Friendship to me, and seeing I was streightned for Money, very generously gave me seventy five Pounds for it, which was about half its Value. We then went to a Coffee House near the Royal Exchange, where I met a very old Acquaintance (a Clergyman) who expressed a surprizing Pleasure in seeing me, for he said he had heard that I was dead. I told him that my Affairs had been in a disagreeable Situation, and that I had retired to Holland 'till such Time as I could accommodate them; and having, as I thought, now happily accomplished it, I was returned to my own Country, in order to spend the Remainder of my Days. He expressed infinite Satisfaction at my good Fortune, insisted upon my dining with him soon, and bringing my Friend along with me, and said so many obliging Things, that I began to think his Compliments fulsome.
As soon as he had taken Leave of us and left the Room, my Friend looked very gravely in my Face, and asked me how long I had known that Person? I told him many Years, that we were School-Fellows together, that he was now in a very prosperous Situation, and that he owed all he had in the World to my Family. Says he, at the Time you was in Distress no doubt but he assisted you; but indeed, I wonder how you could be in Distress at all, whilst a Person was alive, that was so much beholden to your Family.
I told him that I had often applied to him, and even at Times that I knew he had it in his Power to relieve me: but that he had always excused himself; and that indeed, he had so pretty a Manner in making his Excuse, and always accompanied it with so many Professions of Friendship, that a Denial from him was more agreeable than a Compliance in others, and that I was sure he was warmly my Friend.—God help you, says the old Man, you little know what Deceit those fine Protestations are a Cloak to; for, as you know, we can discover the Sentiments of those we converse with; I perceived at the Time he was talking to you, so much Insincerity in every Word he said, and I saw through his Heart so well, that be assured he is the greatest Enemy you have, and at this Instant is doing you a Disservice, though I have it not in my Power to know what, otherwise we would guard against it. But as I must soon leave you, be advised by me, (if you intend to be happy, and avoid falling into such Hardships a second Time, as you have already felt) look henceforward on all Mankind as your Enemies, and guard against them as such; you have often been deceived, you may be so again; but by this Means you must be safe.
This Discourse surprized me greatly, for I verily believed the Person he spoke of was my staunch Friend especially as I had it, both from his own Mouth, and under his Hand. I therefore could not help thinking but that my old Friend had erred in his Judgment: however, I had soon a convincing Proof of the Truth of what he had said.
We now strolled about, till near one o'Clock; and as we were to dine at two, with my Friend in Piccadilly, we steered our Course that Way.
As we were crossing Covent Garden, two ugly looking Fellows came up to us, and one of them asked me, if my Name was not ——? I replied in the Affirmative. He then told me, he had an Action against me for twenty Pounds, and I must go along with him. I asked him at whose Suit? he told me, Mr. Buckram the Taylor.—I remembered that I owed him the Sum; but was greatly surprized he should know that I was in the Land of the Living.
However, I told the Officer, that so small a Sum as twenty Pound, would not oblige me to go with him; but that if he would not expose me in the Streets, I would step into a Tavern with him, and discharge the Action, and not forget to behave like a Gentleman to him.
He immediatly consented, and sent away his Companion. As soon as we came into the House and had got a Room, I paid him the twenty Pounds, and Charges, and gave him a Guinea for himself, with which he was greatly pleased. I now had a great Curiosity to know, by what Means Mr. Buckram could be informed of my being in London; and I questioned the Officer about it. I found by his Replies that he knew something about the Matter and upon my giving him another Guinea, and promising Secrecy, he told me that Mr. Silvertongue had seen me in the Morning at a Coffee-house in the City; that he had immediately acquainted Mr. Buckram with it, and had persuaded him to take out an Action, and arrest me, for that he had seen a good deal of Money about me, and now was his Time. This was the very Person, against whose Professions my old Friend had cautioned me.
I must own this Account filled me with so much Rage and Indignation, that if he had been then present, I should certainly have murdered him. As soon as the Officer had left us, Well, says my Companion, what do you think now of your Friend? Think, says I, I could not have thought there was such a Villain in Nature; and from this Instant I will never trust Mankind again.
We now proceeded to my Friend's House in Piccadilly. The first Thing I did was to repay the two Guineas; and as the Cloaths, that he had lent us fitted very well, I proposed the keeping them; and paying him the Value: which he readily consented to. We were entertained with great Chearfulness by him, his Wife and Family; and after Dinner we sent our Central Cloaths to Piero's with Orders to keep the same Rooms we had had the Night before; and after taking our Leave, we went into the Mall, where we walked till Supper Time.
As we were going to Bed, my Companion told me, he was determined to return home the next Morning: But I enjoin you, says he, by our Friendship, not to stir out of your Room, till your usual Hour; nor by any Means to endeavour to find out the Time or Manner of my Departure; for I shall set out early; and as my Return will be much speedier than our Journey hither was, I shall be at home by Dinner: But if your Curiosity leads you to search into the Manner of performing my Journey, you will lose my Friendship for ever. You may depend upon some Time or other, seeing me again, or some of my Family: in the mean Time may the great Creator preserve you! and trust not Mankind. So saying, he affectionately embraced me, but my Heart was so full, I could not utter one Word; for I was now left again to the Mercy of a deceitful World, without one Friend to assist me. As soon as I got to my Chamber, I threw myself upon my Bed, but could not get one Wink of Sleep: however, as my worthy Friend had enjoined me to keep my Room till my usual hour, I most religiously observed the Order.
A little after Eight, I went into his Chamber; he had left the Cloaths I had purchased, and taken his own. I preserve the Coat to this Day, and shall whilst I live, (out of regard to him that once wore it) with as much Care as a Miser does his Treasure: nay, I sit two or three Hours in the Day, and talk to it, as if it was my Friend. The Cloaths I brought from the Centre, I have still by me; and in my Will have left them (after my Decease) to be lodged with Sir Hans Sloan's Curiosities.
I spent the Remainder of the Day in this most melancholy Manner I ever did in my Life: and as I walked the Streets, I avoided the Passengers as if they had been infected. If any Acquaintance spoke to me, instead of answering him, I ran from him as if he had been going to murder me; by which Means I believe they thought I was gone distracted. In the Evening I went to Young Will's Coffee-House, to enquire after, my worthy Friend the Captain that had been so kind to me, and carried me with him to Italy; but was informed that he had been dead some Months.
The next Morning I set out for my Relations, in the Country, who received me with great Affection: this indeed greatly alleviated my Grief, but it was with great Difficulty that I could make them believe the Truth of my Adventures. After staying with them for some Time, they gave me a Sum of Money, and settled a pretty Income upon me for Life. I paid off all my Debts, took a little Cottage in Kent (where I now live,) with as much Comfort as is possible in this World; for I keep little Company, and am daily in a pleasing Expectation of seeing some of my Central Acquaintance.
It is in this Retreat, that I have collected together the Particulars of my Adventures; and it is on this Spot that I hope to finish my Days, unless some happy Accident carries me again to the Centre.
Roy Glashan's Library
Non sibi sed omnibus
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